TOO Needy & Desperate?!? Too Late?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
TOO Needy & Desperate?!? Too Late?
1
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 7:47pm

<p>I met a man whos is 25, I am 38...we started talking online and then switched to text. He and I text from 7am to 1am everyday for a month. Then we finally met in person. We went out to dinner and then came to my place, one thing led to another and we had sex. He went home the next day and then the next day he was back texting, your so beautiful, I want u, I need u, I care about u, I miss u....and that went on for another couple of weeks. Then all of a sudden the calling slowed down to once a week, there would be 2 days between texting and I had of course noticed the change. I asked him several times and he never really replied with an answer. I chased him even more and texted and called, I panicked. As I pushed he ran. Then it got to the point of him not replying to all my messages and then ignoring me. I asked him and again no straight answer. I asked if he needed time and he never said yes, never did he say he wanted it to be over or leave him alone.</p><p><span style="line-height: 1.4;">Now, it is too the point he won't see me, he ignores most of my texts, and I feel like I am begging him just to talk. I will tell him I am done via text and he ignores it, then I try again the next day. I am acting needy and clingy...not healthy I know. If he would just tell me that is doesn't want this or it's over I would really be ok, the fact he isn't is killing me. I had a previous relationship that he ignored me and it devestated me. I sent him a text and said if u care about me then you will reply, I just want to talk to you. He replies and said he would call after work but then no call. He never follows thru. He says he will call and he will see me and doesn't, always a no show. But him replying shows he cares and he said he cares about me but my neediness crosses bounderies and I can't force yourself on me.&nbsp;</span><span style="line-height: 1.4;">I am not going to cut u off bcuz I do like u but u deserve better. Idk what that means though? I ask him to reply if he cares and he does but last nite I sent him a very mad text after he didn't call like he said he would. I text him again today and said I am asking once more to meet to talk, and that I won't bother him anymore....but he ignored all of my texts. Can this be saved? Can I redeem myself? I am ashamed of myself and how I have acted. I care alot about him and want it to work. What should I do?</span></p>

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2013
Sun, 09-08-2013 - 10:31pm

Sadly, it sounds like he met the next target and is trying to exit resolutely, but not totally rudely. Yeah, hot-n-heavy is good for a fling, for something that lasts longer, it's good for both parties to slow it down, within context of course, to be sure.