Trying not to overanalyze, but wondering

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Trying not to overanalyze, but wondering
12
Mon, 04-12-2010 - 3:59pm
i posted this on another board, then found this one...ok, let's see if we can get this in a nutshell:

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 04-12-2010 - 6:13pm

No, I don't think that you're being unreasonable. I would be worried too. But it does depend on a couple of things - first, how long ago did they break up? If its a matter of weeks then yeah, I'd be sweating about it because his emotions and feelings for her will still be pretty current.

Second, who broke up with who? If she broke it off with him then he didn't just stop loving her and he'll still have strong feelings for her.

Third, what's this about "he doesn't anticipate that he'll hook up with her or that she'll stay"? If I had a new b/f tell say that, I'd quietly and politely explain to him that if he wanted to hook up with her or have her stay over at his place that would be fine. That would show that he clearly wasn't over her and clearly wasn't into me - so do not call me on Monday.

I would want something a little more promising and assertive from a new b/f. There is certainly no reason for her to stay. If she stayed over that would be it as far as I was concerned.

And there is no good reason (as far as you're concerned) for him to go through their stuff with her all day. It's either hers or its something he doesn't care about or its something that he wants. And usually stuff he wants would boil down to a handful of things that can be covered in a phonecall to the ex. Its not something that he needs to spend all day with her "organising to give away or sell". Frankly I think he's using that as an excuse to put you on the backburner and see what happens with his ex. He's just as likely to call Monday and say, "Hey lollipoplollipop. You're great but me and the g/f have decided to give it another go".

Edited to add:
Should you call him? I'd say "No". This is one time when you want him to sort himself out and know that he was thinking of you enough to call you.




Edited 4/12/2010 6:14 pm ET by westridge2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Mon, 04-12-2010 - 6:18pm
I understand you wouldn't like this but as you seem to know already two weeks isn't long enough to make any claims on him. So I would think the important thing here is not to do anything that might make you look insecure or whatever or whatever. Considering how you're feeling and the situation, I would say don't talk to him today. You can't control whatever goes on between the two of them anyway and even a snide word that slips out can leave you mortified later. Step away from the phone LOL. Talk to him again in a day or two and don't bring it up or ask questions or anything. That's what I would do anyway for what it's worth. Good luck.
Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 6:39am

OK.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 9:16am

You have a couple of different questions here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 1:31pm

Lol, thanks for your reply, because now I'm even MORE confused!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 1:56pm
It sounds good! Two weeks is like two minutes and no matter how blown away he may be with you, he just doesn't know you well enough to have it be competition for a much more serious, longer lasting relationship from his recent past. He would have to decide on that pretty much separately, you're still too iffy just by time, in my opinion. So he still had loose ends to tie up from his past, and now all indications are that's done. It was a good thing to get it done so the way is clear for the two of you. ;O)
Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 2:56pm
hummmm, i don't know...he just texted that she's back and he'd call me later...lol, whatever, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 4:29pm
Bummer. But you do see the deal, don't you? I mean a guy I'd known for two weeks isn't much more than a guy passing me on the sidewalk (however gorgeous and perfect he may seem!) put that up against my "real life" and well you'd have to be kind of insane to say no thanks dear, I've got a 2 week romance to consider... I would stay busy with other things, not call, and just hang on and see. He's got to finish his old business one way or the other and I wouldn't even take it personally or hold it against him. Fingers crossed!
Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 4:52pm

I hear what you're saying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 4:54pm
yeah, thanks, that does make the most sense...it's good to put things in perspective, and honestly, i'm kinda over it...he's nice enough and cool enough and all, but there's definitely more where that came from!

Pages