Two-faced boss

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2009
Two-faced boss
4
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 6:03pm
My boss and I became "work friends" over the past year, and got especially close the last few months while the big bosses were on their summer vacations. No funny business - totally platonic, but a work spouse relationship of sorts. We'd talk about work stuff and our interests and just laugh together. We had lots of inside jokes, and talked often. Now the bosses are back and it's very busy, and he's treating me completely differently, and instead socializing with the other bosses only. It's not like he's always acted like this toward me when the bosses were around - even before the vacation season, he often treated me more like a peer than just a co-worker. Our relationship has completely changed to just all-business. We hardly even communicate. He's not being social like he used to be - not asking me to have lunch, no small talk, no fun e-mails or IMs. It's not that he's being unpleasant or rude, but it's definitely just very different now. Even my other co-worker has noticed the change and says he's being two-faced and weird. Why would he have built up a friendly relationship with me, and now he's treating me like just another colleague, almost like our friendship or whatever you want to call it never existed? Nothing changed except for the bosses being back, so I know I didn't say or do anything 'wrong'. Advice??
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: starryjune
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 6:15pm

Starryjune, is he married? Is it possible he began to develop feelings for you in spite of your platonic relationship, and needed to pull back? Or, now that your big bosses are back, do you think maybe he is concerned about how they view his relationship with you? It might be a problem to them if he is showing preferential treatment to you.

Other than that... If he's not willing to say why there's been a change, you won't ever really know. That secret is locked up in his head.

"Now the bosses are back and it's very busy"
This might be the reason you have to chalk it up to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: starryjune
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 6:56pm
His career and job are more important to him - don't know if he is married - but don't bug him - he is looking out for #1 - nothing wrong with that.

Denise

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: starryjune
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:14pm
Has it occurred that the other bosses might disapprove of a relationship with a subordinate? Much of the ethics were taken from the military which(US) forbids fraternization between officers and enlisted personnel.
He is CYA. No one wants to lose their job in this economy!

xvx Pictures, Images and Photos


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
In reply to: starryjune
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 11:29am

"...that the other bosses might disapprove of a relationship with a subordinate?"

That's what came to my mind, too. I don't think I'd take any offense to this - I think he's just trying to stay professional in front of his superiors.

Photobucket