UNBELIVABLE and Disgusting...WHY???

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2010
UNBELIVABLE and Disgusting...WHY???
8
Fri, 08-20-2010 - 10:48pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 8:45am

When he calls, tell him good-bye forever and don't accept any more phone calls, emails, texts or any contact

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 6:20pm

I agree with tish. Allow him to contact you once more and that is so that you can tell him that it is over for good. Tell him that he should not contact you or try to talk to you ever again.

This is not a one night drunken mistake he made that some people might consider to be forgivable. He has spent a lot of time and energy over the years ensuring covering his tracks and pulling the wool over your eyes. He has been carefully making sure that you didn't see what he was really like, and when you did come close at times, he made sure that you felt like it was your fault.

Given that the two of you have been on and off over the years it sounds like it's difficult for you to break up with him and mean it. If you let him back this time the only person you could blame for any future pain he causes would be yourself.

Good luck with staying strong and keeping him out of your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:06pm

Sorry you saw all that, yikes. It doesn't seem like

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 11:44am

I'm glad to hear you say that finding this information made you realize that you're not crazy. In that way, it was good that you read it. Now you know FOR SURE what was going on. So now you can let go of any guilt you ever felt. You are also right that he is a complete and total dumbass.

So now you can move your life forward without him!

It would be hard for anyone here, male or female, to be able to tell you exactly what this dumbass was thinking. Or why he did it. The simple answer is this: He did it because he wanted to, and he thought he could get away with it. People who act that way have no ability to control their impulses. There's no filter between "what I want to do" and "what I should/shouldn't do". All he cares about is indulging his impulses, and covering it up/lying just enough to keep it going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 5:43pm
I am just sorry you wasted 8 years of your life - that is the worst part of it

Denise

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:53pm
Somepeople are going to have a "jones" for another and it might take years to break free. No point sticking around unless you want to use him for sex. There is no relationship except a trainwreck.
Lust is fine. But wanting a BF and dealing with A (good grief I don't know what you would call it. I am male. I have had women in the same type of friendship. The difference was we talked and they TOLD me the score! Now I suggest you tell him the score from your POV!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 1:17pm
I disagree with xxxs about using
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 2:17pm
What is your reasoning?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2008
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 1:32pm

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 1:55pm
Dealing with the reality of life is very different from the fairytale. The only thing I have about other lovers is do not lie as it is truly a waste of time.
Many people are in different relationships because it fits them.
There is the problem of projecting our fears onto others. Having feelings for a person can be a very wide curve. Feelings are. We may have feelings for a friend that we have never has sexual contact with.
He is available as a BC/FWB/there is many good reason to keep him and for a time to be open,frank with each other. The assumption of a exclusive relationship is just that. There are no guarantees in this life.
Who is to say that she does not respect herself? That phase is over used and seems to be a way to control women. (yes women controlling other women to impose their belief system on other women) In my observation that is to force a behavior that the writer feels threatening,to one where it is non-threatening.

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