Understanding Man's Actions or Little of

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Understanding Man's Actions or Little of
12
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 7:20pm

Hi,


I have a question or two about understanding how men think.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 7:33pm

Isabella, he sounds like a lovely holiday companion. Kind and generous. But I'm not sure there's anything more to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 10:21pm
Despite him being friendly enough when you do talk to him, it's you that has to maintain and, at times, initiate the contact. Had you not made the effort to remain in contact you would not be talking to him now. Combine that with a couple of comments and the MSN thing (it pops up and tells you that so-and-so has signed on... remember?). I tend to agree that there is potentially something there but the distances make pursuing it too difficult and the attraction is not strong enough to start making plans to move to Italy just yet. Unless he starts acting more positive and pursuing you more frequently and regularly I wouldn't be holding much hope for anything long term.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 7:55am

Personally, I think you're reading more into this than what is there. He recognized that you were a tourist and was nice to take you under his wings, so to speak, and show you a good time in his homeland. I don't see any sort of "relationship" and maybe that's what he is afraid of, because of the distance. The last email you sent most likely scared him. He may not be thinking of you in the way that you came across in that message. I would let it go and let him make the next move.


Don't get any gifts for him and his family. For all that he and they did for you when you were there last is when you should have given them some sort of little tahnk you gift.


blackandwhite2.jpg picture by nhgal2006

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others,
makes all the difference.
Winnie the Pooh




28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 10:49am

Thanks for your message.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 2:50pm

I'm not usually one for following rules. I think it all depends on the people involved and how they view the situation.


You've already made contact a couple of times, now just sit back and see if he makes the next move. I wouldn't like being the one to always make the first move. That would tell me that the other person isn't really as interested as I am. Why not just remain friends, but you need to let him know that. You can keep in contact with each other and see what happens.


blackandwhite2.jpg picture by nhgal2006

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others,
makes all the difference.
Winnie the Pooh




28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 3:24pm

"Why not just remain friends, but you need to let him know that. You can keep in contact with each other and see what happens." . . . . . I guess this means no intimacy? lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 3:53pm

....."I'm just curious to know why the other person suggested that I initate contact.".....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 6:51pm

>>I thought that men are the "hunters" and prefer to "chase" or contact the woman rather than the other way around. <<

Well, yes men will chase if they are interested in persuing a relationship. But Anthony isn't interested in a relationship with you....this is why he's not chasing.

You also mentioned about you and Anthony having been lovers in Italy and how you should deal with this. Personally, I'd continue to view Anthony as a lovely *holiday* companion and lover. Because this is how he views you. If you can't turn off the emotions and just have another holiday romance, I'd probably be avoiding seeing him altogether.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 8:31pm

I do get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 10:26pm

lol.. Well, I certainly didn't say you couldn't have sex with him.... You can maintain a FWB status as long as that's discussed and you both agree to it.


blackandwhite2.jpg picture by nhgal2006

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others,
makes all the difference.
Winnie the Pooh




28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

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