Unrealistic Expectations - I Didn't Listen!
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|Tue, 05-06-2014 - 9:29pm|
Okay, so the story continues. I really tried to break it off with the guy I've been seeing (see my previous post about unrealistic expectations). The problem is I gave in to his persistance. After our argument (on the phone) he said he wanted to see me and talk about things. I thought it was fair because I don't really like breaking up over the phone. So he came over to my house and told me his whole story about the exes and kids. We talked (or I listened more like) for about 2 hours. During the converstaion I kept thinking this guy seems to be a complete mess! The first ex totally manipulates him using their daughter, seems like it goes both ways. And he tries to win his daughter's affection. And the second ex seems to take advantage of him by leaving their son with him all the time.
Between our schedules we really don't have a lot of time for each other. But I'm still thinking that I don't know where I can fit into a life with him. I've been divorced for a year and a half. I'm ready for something serious. I still think he wants something casual, he's only been divorced for 6 months. He did tell me he's afraid of getting hurt. This is where I'm confused. He told me he loves me that night. And it wasn't in a very romantic way either. We ended up sleeping together and he said it during... yeah. So I kinda feel like it doesn't count! What a mess! I'm telling myself I don't need his drama and immaturity. Why can't I bring myself to stop seeing him? Uggg.
He seems like he is a good guy, on paper! He's got a great job, nice house, loves to travel, etc etc. But all those things don't matter if he's not ready to really date. And I'm still confused how he can say "I love you" and yet be so distant regarding having an actual relationship where we can meet each other's kids and family, hang out together. That's what I want from the man in my life, to be a big part of my life. I want to have separate interests and houses and everything, but still come together and spend time together. I told him all this. And he said he wants it too. Maybe I just want it faster than he does. And part of me is saying to take it really slow with him, since I'm not sure I want to be wife number 3 and in the middle of all the drama he already has! I have a feeling you guys are going to say to move on... again! Haha, you already said that before and I didn't listen. Do you think he just said he loves me so that he can string me along? Maybe he thinks that's what I wanted to hear. Then again when he said it, he seemed to have said it by mistake. It was during a passionate moment, maybe he meant it but didn't mean to say it. Confused! I certainly don't love him at this point, so I kind of ignored it and don't really want to bring it up with him.