Unsure how to proceed

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2005
Unsure how to proceed
Wed, 02-26-2014 - 8:37pm

I have a colleague that is always very nice and helpful to me. We work in different locations and he always goe out of his way to personally deliver things to my location. Whenever we see each other he always stares into my eyes. He tells me to call him if I need anything or just to talk says if I ever want him to stop by all I have to do is call.  Every time he sees me he lets me know he is single and share personal things about himself and want to what's going on with me. Is he just being polite or is it something else?

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 02-26-2014 - 10:25pm

If you are interested, ask him if he wants to stop out for coffee.  If you are NOT interested, ignore him.  If HE is not interested, you'll find out quick enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 02-27-2014 - 11:15am

I find it immensely irritating that he drops all these hints but will not have the nerve to ask you out.  But I agre--if you want to take things further, you'll have to initiate something, so ask him for lunch, or for a drink after work.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 02-27-2014 - 12:52pm

Sounds like he is interested and trying to feel the situation out and see if you feel the same.   Seems he is afraid to ask you out and doesn't want to be shot down or find out you are not available, etc. etc.

Or, I don't know, maybe he is wating to find out enough about you, first.  You know, like do you have a crazy xH, you parents live with you, secret love child somewhere, I don't know.  Just a wild guess why he hasn't asked you out.  

I am far from being any kind of expert on this, but if you ARE interested, maybe find out if you have a common hobby or interest.  Something that doesn't really feel like a "date."    Like lets say you both liked  to hike, it would an activity versus being forced to look at eachother across a table.  

Just some ideas, thats all.  :)  


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2002
Thu, 02-27-2014 - 1:42pm

You don't mention if you are interested in him, only that he seems interested in you.  I would caution against starting anything with a colleague, or to take it very slow if there is a mutual interest to see if anything develops.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

.  -Albert Einstein

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2005
Fri, 02-28-2014 - 2:14am

II am interested in him. I have just been a little hesitant because I'm a little older than him but he the the kind of man I would  like to date. I can tell we both have a strong attraction to each other. We are also total opposites.  I feel very drawn to him (in a nonsexual way). 

The company does allow dating as long as he's not my direct supervisor, which he's is not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2014
Tue, 04-01-2014 - 8:05am

I agree with the posters that mention doing something non-dating related. I had a coworker that suddenly asked me on a date one time and I was not interested and he really thought I was going to be, and it was awkward every time after I saw him at work, but he just wasnt my type. I was somehow giving signals that he picked up on though, which I didnt mean to do.