Is This Unusual..??

Avatar for bearkizz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Is This Unusual..??
11
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 10:12am
Maybe this is just me and my own childhood rearing of what is "appropriate", I really can't say....but is it unusual for a married person to receive phone calls everyday (at 9pm) from an opposite sex friend calling to say, "I just got home from work" but no other conversation involved?

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Avatar for bearkizz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 10:14am
PS. The opposite sex friend is single...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 11:08am
bearkizz,

Even my wife who trusts me with all her heart would find this intolerable. As a guy I do think it is a bit odd that a female would phone your husband at night to let him know that she is home.

I would really have to question her motives for doing this but also he should put his foot down and tell her not to call just to let him know that.

My 2 cents,

Jay

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 1:23pm
It's not particularly unusual when the person is separated and intending to end the marriage.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 9:10pm
Title: Is it my imagination...

...or does this read like you know something that hasn't been shared with the rest of us?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 10:00pm
Well, she's posted about her situation several times before, although it's possible that it may have been on another board. It sounds like her husband has been playing head games with her during their separation, however, so it's understandable that she's confused about what's going on.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 12:09am
I can think of only ONE scenario in which this would be acceptable behavior:

Suppose they are truly just *friends,* and suppose the one accepting the call is male and the caller is a single female, and suppose the woman has a job where she is the last one to leave at night, leaves the building by herself, and has a rather dangerous trip home.

ONLY in that light would I understand and even encourage a 9pm phone call every night from an opposite sex single friend, with the only message being "I just got home from work."

Anything else is curiously suspicious.

Msfit

                  &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 8:47am
Title: Ahh....


...well that certainly explains a lot.

Though for me at least, it also introduces other questions. Like, why would two people who are legally seperated still be living together? And...if you are legally seperated, why would a person care who called whom and when (other than if it disrupts sleep...lol).

Still...if nothing else, life has taught me that human relationships are very, very complex...and seldom fit into nice, neat little boxes...

But you are right...if they are seperated, there is nothing unusual about it at all. He has a social life which doesn't include or (in his mind) concern her, and if that is where he lives, well, that is where he will get phone calls...no surprise there...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 2:33pm
Unusual? Certainly so! However, not for the reasons you seem to focus on...

Is it unusual for a married man to get a phone call from a single woman who he is friends with? Nope. Not at all. I think it will be a sad day in our society if it ever becomes so.

Is it unusual for *any* person to get a phone call from *any* other person at the same time every day just to say "I made it home safe"? Hell, yes. I'm not saying it never happens. My MIL insists on calling every time they drive from Boston back home to TO to say they made it safely. My ex-wife used to insist I call her every time I had to take a somewhat long car ride to get someplace, to let her know I made it there safe. I can also think of dangerous trips, weather problems or other reasons why someone might need to call. All of them "unusual".

In general, it sounds like someone is probably being a bit paranoid. Not really a male/female question, or relationship based either. Just odd, no matter who the people are or what the relationships are.

Brokk...

Avatar for mamma2my3sons
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-23-2003 - 3:22pm
Msfit-did you get married? Just saw in your profile that you said you have a "new wonderful husband"? if so, congrats! nt Barbara
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 7:14pm
Awww thanks for asking - and yes, I did, August 7, during the Sturgis motorcycle rally in the Black Hills. Actually, he's the same guy with whom I had been co-habitating for nearly 8 years. We called ourselves "engaged," and I had that in my profile. Sparked a bit of a thread on this board a short while back, when Gogo wondered "exactly what does engaged mean" :

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlunderstand&msg=7239.1&ctx=128

and my follow up after the surprise wedding:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlunderstand&msg=7792.1&ctx=0

Msfit

                  &nbs

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