Went to His Friends' Party, Now What?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2011
Went to His Friends' Party, Now What?
7
Sun, 12-25-2011 - 9:57pm

Merry Christmas everyone!

Before I get to my question(s), bear with me a bit while I give some history of the situation:

About 3 years ago, I took some capoeira classes on my breaks from college. The instructor, let's call him "M", was a very attractive man, and we'd chat a bit before/after class; we learned we had some things in common (both Libras, neither drinks/smokes, likes to read). But since both of us were in relationships at the time, I didn't even entertain any romantic thoughts.

But now things are different, for both of us. I broke up with my boyfriend about a year ago, and a friend who I took the classes with told me "M" had split with his girlfriend, too. So when I came home for Christmas break, I decided to start up classes again while home. I e-mailed him, and we set up some private lessons (he asked if I'd prefer whole class or private lessons). Things seemed to be going well. I was feeling great, thanks to the exercise, and I was enjoying his company. We caught up on what each of us had done since we last saw/spoke. And one of the first questions he asked was whether I was still with my ex.

Then last Thursday after a lesson, he invited me to his capoeira show the next day. I asked my friend to come, just to make me less nervous. During his breaks, he hung out at our table.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 10:24am

From what you have said, it sounds like he is interested. Do you have any more classes scheduled? Have you heard from hijm yet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Tue, 12-27-2011 - 10:34am
He sounds like a social guy who likes people around him which I think is also very much part of his culture - the show was related to what you both have been doing so he thought to invite you, hung around a little bit at the table and then with a party afterward, he invited you and your friend too - the more the merrier. My guess is that he would do all of this if you were a guy too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2011
Thu, 12-29-2011 - 7:01pm
You're right; he's a social guy, and it does appear to be part of his culture. But he only invited me; he didn't invite my friend.

And you're right that his response to the invite was more friend-like than interested. But after my lesson yesterday, he asked if I had plans for New Years Eve. I actually did have plans with friends and family, so he suggested we hang out Friday. He has another show in the evening, but he asked if I'd like to grab a late lunch/early dinner before and we could go to the show together. His roommate is meeting him at the show, too, so I'd know someone. Otherwise, I might've asked the same friend to come with me.

Also, during yesterday's lesson, he was more engaging than usual--touching me more (showing me which muscles I should be working, etc), giving me two kisses on the cheek (instead of the usual one) before and after class (a Brazilian thing), and helping me up from the floor (after he'd made me do a particularly painful exercise).

That's the recent catch-up. I'm not deluding myself into believing he's interested, but it does seem like he considered my initial invite, albeit in hindsight.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 9:35am

Culture aside, I think he definitely sounds interested!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2011
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 11:00pm
Well, we went out to lunch after my last lesson before heading off for the capoeira show. He came over to my table during his breaks, and his roommate went to mingle with the other capoeira guys to give M and I alone time. At one point, he put his arm around me and pulled me into him. After the show, we walked along the beach (the show was in Miami Beach, right on the ocean) for a bit, and as we were saying goodbye, he kissed me, on the lips this time. We kissed for a bit, and called it a night.

I actually also ended up seeing him on NYE. After telling my friend what happened, she insisted I invite him to come out with us. Well, he had plans with some friends, but after their party, he met up with my friends and me just in time for the new year. :) I got my first New Years kiss haha.

Problem is, I'm back at university now for grad school, about 3 hours away. We talked about it and decided to give dating a shot. My family lives in his city, so I'd get to see him when I visit them, and he does shows in my city, so I'll get to see him then, too. Which is a big change for me because my previous long-distance relationship consisted of me doing all the driving. He's quite a gentleman and a really nice guy.

Thanks everyone for the advice and good thoughts! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 9:16am

Good news!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 10:38am

That is awesome - and 3 hours is not that far at all