What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
What do you think?
7
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 5:49am

O.k here it is...a friend of mine had wanted me to meet this guy that she thought would be a good match for me.This all started in April of last year....finally met him in Sept of last year.I didn't have any impressions about him when I met him.I;m very shy and it takes me awhile to warm up with someone.Anyways that first meeting we had jogged together on base...he's military.After that I got more comfortable talking to him and he would call me off and on and it wasn't until in Oct. of last year did I realize that I liked him.Now before I told him how I felt he had told me that he's not looking for a relationship...was cheated on...just wanted to date..nothing serious.Well I heard him loud and clear but that didn't stop me from not liking him and I got more brazen and told him how I felt about him.Still he let me know that he wasn't looking for a relationship.Still kept intouch and ofcourse he let me know that he found me sexually attractive...he was to me too.. when he brought that up...I would let him know that there is more to me then my body.....As I got to talk to him more on the phone....I had also by then been over to his house 3 times and slept with him BUT no sex.I wasn't ready to sleep with him because there were some issues with me that I had to deal with and I couldn't explain to him at the time.Well eventually I realized that because I feel this way about him that I should stop calling him until I got my feelings under control because by June of this year I knew that I was falling in love with him.I NEVER told him that.So...I stopped calling him and e-mailing him and I was doing well for 3 weeks..even took him out of my phone...ALL this because I wanted to stop feeling the way I was feeling for him because I KNEW that he didn't want a relationship..well he ends up calling me after 3 weeks and of course all my efforts went out the window.I told him again how I thought that he should take a chance on me...we of course flirted on the phone...now by the time I had decided to have sex with him...its now late July.I had by now dealt with a sexual issue that I had and I was ready to sleep with him.Well it finally happened BUT almost didn't happen.I had gone over to hisplace but didn't get to stay long because he was going over to his parents house.I told asked him to call me when he got back home.He said he would be back by 9pm.So after 9pm I called him....no answer...then called again by 930pm...still no answer.Well I finally went over there and long story short...he finally opens the door giving me this

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:37pm
I agree with the others. Reading you missive was confusing. If You are in lust then that is ok. He may have other sexual partners so?
The "am I good" (in bed) may have thrown up all kinds of red flags!
I myself have never had a woman ask me that!
Not calling;well most people use their own life as a template. If he got up early most of the time that maybe what he is thinking It's too late she has to work tomorrow.
As a man reading this I would have to say that IMO most men would back away. There is no clear cut rhyme or reason.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 6:41pm

I feel if a man was "really" interested he would say "can I call you" - thats always been my experience - I dated a lot.

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 5:51pm
I don't understand why people think I was begging?He was the one that stated for me to call him which I did.I wanted an explanation for why he said for me to do this and NOT even return my calls.Either way I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around.I know that if I told someone to call me...and they did and I never returned their calls...I would expect that person to want an explanation too..i guess its just the times that we're living in...no common courtesy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 5:12pm

My first thought was that you were desperate and that you were in your

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 10:28am

Agree with Coconut


Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 10:04am

That was a little hard to read. I think you're making more out of this. He was upfront with you from the beginning. He didn't/doesn't want a relationship. Regardless of how you're feeling about him, it was a no win situation. Why did you keep communicating with him? When he did call you, you should have first asked if he changed his mind about a relationship. He was free to mess around with whoever, as the two of you had nothing, except on your part.


If you want someone to respect you and have a relationship, then let this guy go, ignore him, and find someone better.



V224333_103.jpg picture by nhgal2006


"Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest,
It's about those who came and never left your side ...."
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28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 6:37am

Listen, he's made it clear from the start that he is not interested in a relationship with you. He

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