What does he really want?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
What does he really want?
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 8:33pm

This might get a bit long, so I apologize in advance. I posted it on another board, but wanted to get more opinions.

I was friends with this guy for quite a while. About 6 weeks ago (New Years Eve) we hooked up and then started seeing each other, we were together almost every day. I was his first non one night stand since he broke up with his long term girlfriend about a year ago.

There were a couple times when I was drunk and freaked out a bit on him for not calling one day. I apologized and he said everything was fine. About 2 weeks ago he started acting a bit funny and said I needed to slow down, and then everything was fine, but a week ago, we ended up breaking things off. It was a huge fight and got pretty ugly. He told me that he never wanted a real

Avatar for purp2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2010
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 8:41pm

You got the wrong idea the other night. He didn`t ask you to be in a relationship, he just wanted to have sex. He got it and now he is satisfied again. Nothing has changed.

If you really want to start over then don`t get physical until you are sure you are both on the same page.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 3:15pm

Dude. You are smothering him and being crazy. Knock it off and you might salvage this.

I disagree with the previous poster who said that all he wanted was sex and he got it and the end. He said to take it slow and give him his space - how much clearer does he need to make it? Go back to your life and do your thing and hang out with your friends and get back to being the happy girl that you are - you know, the one who doesn't freak out when he doesn't call you every day even though you've only been dating for a few weeks.

He likes you, you like him, but you are creating drama and being needy - this is obviously a guy who needs some space and time to himself. Give it to him. He already showed you how much more he wanted you when you had your own life. Keep having it and the whole thing just might work out. Some people don't need to talk to their significant other every dang day...if you give him the space I can almost guarantee that he will want to contact you more. Try it.

The only thing I'd be wary of, if I were you, is that the two of you seem to have a tendency to create drama and then break up over it. Tread carefully as you try this whole dating thing again and work on your communication skills. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 4:03pm

It sounds like he likes you quite

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 7:49pm

I would not play these games with him.