what does it ACTUALLY mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
what does it ACTUALLY mean?
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 8:53am

I always heard some girls said their bfs love them, but dont want to marry them or dont want to marry them soon.

I did see some cases that without marriage, the couple still lives together and enjoy time together for long years. Yet compared with couples who get married, couples never married take much smaller percentage.

I discussed it with friends and on internet as well and got different answers, however, many of them gave me a similar answer: If a guy does not want to marry his gf, it means the guy actually does not love his gf enough, so he does not think his gf is the Miss Right whom he gonna spend his life with.

Financial situation, freedom, not ready,..., guys can use any of them as an excuse for not marrying. And their gfs accept it. To be honest, I believed it b4. But now I really do not think so, like what one of my friend said: if you really want be with sb forever, Nothing is excuse; if you do not want be with sb, Anything is an excuse. His saying may be a little extremly, but think about it carefully, it really makes sense. Of course, if a girl does not want to marry some guy, she can give the same reasons as well.
It is like if you really like sth, you will try best to own it rather than leave it to others.

For the situation I mentioned at the beginning, I think many of those girls already knew the answer themselves, but they just dont want to face it and accept it. I am not blaming anyone here. I just want to help them figure out the truth. Be honest, I am in the same boat now. Being with my bf for 1 yr and a half, we are happy for anything, except when very few times I talked about the future and marriage. (I mentioned it twice totally). I think so many girls came across same problem as I did. Guys like this do not want to take responsibility, which is an important difference b4 and after marriage.

I do not suggest pressuring boyfriends, but I do not agree with keep waiting. What if you wait for him another 3 , 5 yrs, and you turn out to be 35, 40 yrs old, and he finally leave you and get a new young girl?? Nobody can get age back, right?