What gives?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2012
What gives?
12
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 3:58pm

A few weeks ago at my company Christmas party, I was talking to a co-worker that I do not normally have the chance to talk to as we work in different departments. We spent the majority of the night talking and getting to know each other and at one point he had mentioned that he has been attracted to me since I started working for the company last spring. Our conversation throughout the night became more intense and quite flirtatious. He had been drinking and I not so much and in the end, we ended up going back to his place and fooled around. I had left his place early in the morning and had texted him later that day telling him I had a great time and that I had hoped we could see each other again. He had replied that he felt that he had complicated things and that there were written and unwritten rules about fraternization where we work, however, is glad that we got to know each other more. Over the next few days we had texted back and forth, nothing to "flirty" or personal, more about how are holidays were going then out of nowhere, he stopped replying. Over the next several weeks we haven't exchanged texts, exchanged a few work related email and that's it. I finally saw him this past week and had a very brief conversation, however, for me, it felt a little strange. I spoke to a few of my girl friends and they all said that I should move on, how he should have texted/called, given me any kind of sign that there might be some thing . However, I'm nor sure if I should give up. I understand his position at work (being a director) and understand the consequences that if anyone found out that we were dating, however, I'm just not sure how to proceed. Act as nothing happened? Was it a one time deal? From what I know of him, he's not the type to be a jerk. Well respected, wants to help out everyone, just an all around nice person. What gives?

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: csales
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 4:47pm

It could be someone had the "talk" with him.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to: csales
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 6:19pm

csales, what happens at the drunken Christmas party stays at the drunken Christmas party.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2012
In reply to: csales
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 9:44pm

Never thought of that. Could be a possibility.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2012
In reply to: csales
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 9:53pm

I fully agree however there is one thing that keeps coming to mind. Ever since I started working, every time he would finish

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2012
In reply to: csales
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 9:56pm
Never thought of that. Could be a possibility.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2012
In reply to: csales
Sun, 01-08-2012 - 9:56pm
I fully agree however there is one thing that keeps coming to mind. Ever since I started working, every time he would finish talking either in the lunch room or when we would go for coffee, he would look over at me and he would just stare at me until one of us would look away. And not just a quick look, but a good five second stare with this shy smile. Even his team noticed that something was up the night of the party as they would come up to me through out the night and tell me that in all the years they have known him, he would never talk to a girl for that long and keep talking about her when she would walk away. Even after the holiday break, they would make sure to bring up his name every time I was around.

But I think you're right and I think I'm just making up excuses as to why he isn't talking to me.

Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
In reply to: csales
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 10:44am

I work for a corporations and any sort of fraternization is highlty frowned upon. Compund that with his drinking that night, and I would have to agree, someone said something to him regarding the "appropriateness" of his

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2012
In reply to: csales
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 6:23pm
Thanks for your input. I decided to let it go. I feel played though =(
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to: csales
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 5:43pm

>>Thanks for your input. I decided to let it go. I feel played though<<

csales, with all due respect, don't play the victim here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2012
In reply to: csales
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 7:25pm
Thank you for your input. I haven't seen him around the office lately and have been toying with the idea of asking him for coffee just to see if we're still "good" so to speak. I just don't want it to be awkward and would really want things to go back how they used to be. He's a great guy and I love talking to him and its been hard not being able to talk to him when he is there.

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