What is he playing at?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2010
What is he playing at?!
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 4:14am
I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. I'm the type of girl that doesn't get intimate with a guy until I'm in a relationship. But silly me, I fell for this guy , we see each other anywhere from 2-4 times a week,we do dinner, movies etc. I've met his parents and had dinner with them(he lives with them at the moment mind you) and I catch up with him and his daughter when he has her.
I have asked him, can we give a relationship a go he said he doesn't want to "complicate things" I Dont know. We've talked about going on little holidays, and trying to figure out dates. We also are intimate and to me this feels like a relationship. Im 25 and he is a year younger . I know he has got a few things goin on his life. But I'm at the end of being so nice when recently it is like he doesn't even care anymore. I don't know what to do - do I just give up and walk away? Problem is I'm very attached and it isn't easy. I Dont understand guys, it's frustrating and I feel I'm bein taken advantage of and used . Any feedback would be muchly appreciated. Thank you :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 11:22am

There comes a time when making a decision like this that you need to take your heart and feelings out of the equation and look at the facts.

For WHATEVER REASON, after three months of getting to know you, he has decided that he does not want a relationship. It does not matter why.

"I'm the type of girl that doesn't get intimate with a guy until I'm in a relationship"

Yes you are, because that's exactly what you did. It may be rare for you, but you're now living with the consequences of your decision to get intimate, which illustrates exactly why you don't WANT to be the "type" that gets intimate with a guy until she's in a relationship. You are proving your own rule.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 2:40pm

When you said that you are feeling that you are being taken advantaged of and used, I also agree with undercovercrab that you are responsible for your own actions in deciding to sleep with him and create a set of expectations about the relationship.