What he said to me . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2008
What he said to me . . .
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 12:45pm

He was charming, and suave, and good looking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 8:27pm

You said you felt something during sex.....He is the one that didn't have feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 10:15pm

For starters you have to accept that no matter how much you wanted otherwise, the two of you were not a good combination. It's not a case of you being "bad" or him being "good".

You've gotten the idea into your head that you were the liability in the relationship. That's simply not true. Yes, he's used words that he feel nothing and didn't like making love to you but that's only how HE felt. That's not how someone that is a well matched partner will feel with you.

It's quite possible that the fault is his and that HE was the liability with unrealistic expectations - that he was looking for someone extremely and unusually outgoing and physically active in the bedroom and would never "click" with someone of a normal level of activity in such a short timeframe. So, YOU may have been perfectly fine. Yes, to him you were unemotional, to anyone else you were perfectly normal!

So my advice is to tell yourself that he's the one that wanted unrealistic sex. That you were proceeding in a normal fashion (as much as any one of us can) and he's the one that should be reconsidering how an laughter and charming is useless without substance underneath it all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 4:38am

Tewey, you may have been emotional in the bedroom, but did you *show* it? Did you laugh and have fun and get right into it?

It's just that if you keep your pleasure tucked too far inside, it will leave our partner wanting. Half the fun of sex is seeing our partner having fun and pleasure.