What is he thinking??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2008
What is he thinking??
Sun, 06-10-2012 - 5:15pm

Sorry if this is long! I need some advice. I met John thru my best friend (who he also considers to be his best friend!) years ago. Recently we both were single and decided to take our friendship to a different level..and that level was "friends with benefits." We both weren't ready for anything serious and I was fine being just FWB. He's been up front with me about what goes on so there's no secrets when it comes to us seeing other people. I know he is. For the past 7 months we have been hooking up every week but something seemed different back in May. He was saying that he tells everyone that we're "seeing each other" (whatever that means) and all I did was listen. I didn't say "No. We're just friends." My friend warned me that he's very wishy-washy so I take what he says with agrain of salt. We both agreed that this was strictly about sex. When I left that night everything was fine, I txt him a few days later but didn't hear anything back. A few weeks later he sent me a random video and that was it. The following week I saw him because our mutual friend had a party so after a month of no contact for the most part we were finally face-to-face. He acted normal like nothing was wrong and was very chatty. He even pointed out that it had been awhile since we've talked and wanted to know what was new. Everything was good and I figured that the "benefits" part of our relationship was done but I was wrong. That night we ended up having sex (to my surprise). Last time I saw you you said told you're friends that we're seeing each other and yet we don't talk throughout the month? I don't want a committed relationship with John. I'm just confused by his actions and it would be nice to know what he's thinking. I didn't think we would have sex the night of the party since we went from talking and seeing each other every week to pretty much no contact. I figured everything was done with and we were just platonic friends so I didn't have any intentions on hooking up. How did I not see that coming but my other friends did??? I haven't talked to him since then although he said he was going to call but I knew better than that. Next time I see him should I ignore him? I'm trying to figure out what game he's playing. Thanks for your help guys!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 06-10-2012 - 6:06pm

The best way to find out how someone is feeling is to talk with them.  

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 06-10-2012 - 7:37pm


 Welcome to the board.

  It seems that He is fine without structure to this FWB.  He does not feel the need to be in contact as much as you do.