what is his purpose?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2010
what is his purpose?
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 10:00am

I broke up with my bf 2 months ago, cz we were not on the same page in terms of marriage, although we really enjoyed the time together. so I did not dump him, and he did not dump me either, we just had long talke with each other and decided to break up, cz I am ready for marriage but he is not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 5:37pm

It doesn't matter why he wants to stay in contact with you. The real matter at hand is that it would be best for you to stop communicating with each other so that you can both have closure and be able to move on. If you remain friendly with constant contact with any ex, It will not be fair for the significant other in your future. You wouldn't want a boyfriend to speak daily with an ex, or hang out with her, and so you shouldn't engage in this behavior either. Therefore, you should take steps now to break ties with your ex. Explain to him that you enjoyed your time with him, but now it's time to move on. Let him know that you will always have good memories of him, but for your best interests, he should not contact you again.

If he cares about you, he will honor your wishes. If he doesn't care about how you feel and continues to contact you after you told him not to, then it would be in your best interest to block his calls/e-mails, etc. Good luck in meeting someone with the same life goals. Good for you for not settling. Take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 9:08pm

I agree that there is little to be gained from finding out his reasons for staying in contact with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2010
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 12:50pm

He seems to be that he feels sorry for you and HIMSELF. He doesnt' seem so sure what he wants to do with you, he lets you go but keeping you around like he is still with you.

Be firm on that, you don't need to talk to him everyday or even hang out each week. You don't talk or see your mother, sister even best friend everyday. What is the point of this sort of action?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2010
Fri, 11-19-2010 - 10:56am

This is really a tough spot you are in right now.