What to think...(really long lol)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2010
What to think...(really long lol)
10
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 12:18pm

Hello,


I'm new to posting but have reading for years. I must say this places has kept me quite interested these past few years. So here is my question/concern (grab some tea for the read LOL):


I met a guy back in the beginning of April on the train. We had good conversation the entire train ride, I learned some basic information about him and we

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 1:06pm

I love the fact that he is so dedicated to work (he

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2010
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 1:53pm

I said "come across" not entertain. I dont think I pick innappropriate/unavailable people. These are what some of them end up being, I dont go looking for this type of man. Once I discover that they dont have the minimum, which is a job, it goes no further. How do you come to an conclusion that I tend to pick these type of guys based off one story? Not jump on you but that is not accurate but it is an

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 4:01pm

Not jump on you but that is not accurate but it is an

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 7:29pm
To quote you, "he may actually be a good dude but just a crazy work schedule at the moment." That is the part I don't see. What makes you think his work schedule is just a temporary problem? I don't see anywhere in your post that he is searching for a new job. In fact, he is even going to work on his days off and working more hours than he has to. He seems like a man that is wedded to his job. If you keep seeing him, you need to expect that things will always be this way. You either need to accept a relationship where you will rarely get any face to face time, or you need to move on.
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Registered: 04-10-2010
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 10:03pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2010
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 10:45am

When we first met he expressed that he didnt know if he wanted to do that for too much longer. Our metro system here is in high demand and once people get in they normally stay until retirement. He's been there for about 7 years but doesnt have that senority yet. He does have the early shift which most people want but he isnt to the point where he can have that M-F, 9-5. We have talked about him taking college courses to see if there is something else he wants to do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2010
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 11:04am

I agree with the reason he works alot. I do the same. If I'm not in a relationship or dealing with someone special to me, I will pick up a part time in a heatbeat (I start a new PT on Saturday actually lol).


If

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2008
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 10:28pm

If you've both expressed interest... why not just ask if he'd consider cutting back the OT if he was wanting to possibly build a relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 9:49am

Thats the part that has me confused. After I left his house and didnt hear from him I assumed that maybe all he was interested in was having sex and because sex didnt happen he didnt wasnt interested. But he is the one who continues to call, text. IDK....it is what it what it is.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2008
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 6:32pm

Maybe he's looking for something more casual, which is why he's careful not to be too quick to contact you or push too much for a real date?

I say you just put your cards on the table, you have nothing to lose. Get in touch with him, and just say, "You know, I like you and I think you like me. I'd be open to pursuing this a bit more, going out on a couple of casual dates and getting to know each other better. But you've mentioned your work schedule is crazy, and I understand that's where you're at in life right now, so if you think this isn't for you right now then just let me know, no hard feelings."

I think if you lay it out for him like that, and he is genuinely interested in you, then he'll make the effort to carve out some time for a weekly date. Worst case scenario, he just says he's not really interested in dating right now and you can move on to greener pastures. :)