What's going on here? Help Please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2010
What's going on here? Help Please.
6
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 1:17pm

I met a man & fell in love. Sounds normal right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 2:13pm

....."It's the fact that he still wants to see me that I do not understand.".....

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 10:43am
The thing is, just because he can't offer what you want/need doesn't mean he doesn't like you or enjoy your company. Sometimes we have to be content to accept that there are people who are different from us, who don't have the same "if I feel X then I feel Y" rules as we do, and thus can't really be understood in the same terms as we operate ourselves. It's a very difficult thing to accept that we'll never understand why or how, but sometimes it's the only thing you can do because the alternative is to beat your head to a pulp trying and never getting anywhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2010
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 10:14am

Thank you for being so articulate and kind! You are absolutely right.


I can understand the break up and was

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 9:32am

I think this guy's even more confused than you are. Confused about what he wants and conflicted about what to do.

Off the bat, this isn't a good prospect for a relationship. Men who are wishy-washy and inconsistent with their emotions are men who have a lot to figure out internally before they're a good investment for a woman. Underneath everything, you need someone who is a great companion whom you can trust and count on.

I'm going to ask you to do something difficult... Ignore his tears. Ignore the fact that he's sad and devastated and wants you in his life. The most important thing he said to you is that he doesn't want a relationship, he can't live up to expectations, and he knows he has a problem. It doesn't matter what spurred him to say this; he said it ultimately because it's the truth. He knows he's not relationship material and while it makes him sad to not have you, he is giving you a way out.

I know you love him, but you deserve better. He knows you deserve better. So you can either accept that this relationship will never live up to your standards and you can keep yourself in misery just because you love him, OR, you can start the process of moving on, hard as it is, and eventually find someone you don't worry about or feel anxious over. The difference is that in six months, a year's time, you'll either still be miserable or you'll be happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 1:49pm

No, he asked, "But it's enough isn't it?" And did not lessen his attentions for another two months.


He only said he did not want to date me or anyone when I would not go to dinner until he talked about it. It's almost like dating but I don't get to call and there is no physical contact.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 1:31pm

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