Whats our chances of getting back together

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2014
Whats our chances of getting back together
Tue, 07-15-2014 - 8:48am

A couple of years ago I was seeing a guy.  It was a long distance relationship and fairly short lived.  He was not long out of an 8 year relationship which ended badly and he wasn’t ready for anything else. 

Although we were not official, he slept with someone else and dissapeared for weeks.  We were both at an event where we talked and got close again, but he then disappeared again with no reason for 4 weeks.  I called an end to it as I am not waiting around while a guy does this.  About 6 months later I see on facebook he is in a relationship, I was truly happy for him.

Fast forward to this year and we are both at a mutual friends wedding which was just 6 weeks ago.  He takes me to the side and tells me that he cant stop thinking about me and asked if I could consider giving us another chance.  I wasn’t expecting this and all I could think of was how hurt I was when he disappeared and slept with another girl so I said no I wasn’t going to let myself get hurt again. 

We were in each others company again this last week at an event and the more time I spent with him the more I realised I do still really like him, we did touch on the subject after a few drinks which wasn’t clever and he seemed upset that he had poured his heart out and I knocked him back.

I have messaged him since I got home telling him that although I said I didn’t want us to try again that wasn’t 100% true it was more that I was terrified of getting hurt again and spending time with him has made me realise how much I still like him.

I told him I am aware he has a couple of girls that he is seeing at the moment, so I didn’t expect him to say anything or reply but that I just needed to get it out there and say my piece.  I messaged him this yesterday and I haven’t heard back from him, which is fair enough as I told him I wasn’t expecting one.  My gut is just telling me to leave it now as I’ve told him how I feel and if he still feels the same he will get in touch. 

What do you think the chances are that I will hear from him?  Its only been 6 weeks since we spoke at the wedding, can his feelings changed that much? 


Thanks in advance for your advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 07-15-2014 - 1:53pm

Was he also seeing these girls 6 weeks ago when he was telling you that he wanted another chance with you?  he souds like he could really be a player.  Well you have told him how you feel so if he still feels the same way then he will definitely get back to you.  I'd say to just take things slow and don't have sex with him until you are exclusive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2014
Tue, 07-15-2014 - 3:29pm

I don't actually know if he was seeing them or not.  I assumed not but that was silly of me.  You have a very valid point. 

I know he has seen my message and he has been online most of the day and yet he has not got in touch so I think I have my answer although it is still early days.

At least I now know and won't constantly think 'what if'


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
Fri, 07-18-2014 - 6:16pm


I think that when someone appears to be unavailable the interest can be stronger. I agree with music that you should just see where things goes and at least you know that he's beeen online and should have received your message. So he can't use any sort of excuse if you inquire.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 07-24-2014 - 3:21pm

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