When he chases

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2009
When he chases
14
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 7:50am

I was reading some of the responses in another thread and found the discussion to be rather interesting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
In reply to: girlyal
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 8:15am

Im with you on the coming on too strong.

It would probably be to your benefit to lay it all out for him upfront. What you are hoping for in dating, and how far you are willing to go. If you are only comfortable with dating once or twice a week, let him know now. Set boundaries. If he respects those boundaries, then you know there is potential. But if he either reacts negatively (ie takes it as rejection), fidgets, or totally ignores those boundaries; then you know he is NOT dating material but more along the lines of emotionally unbalanced and quite desperate.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2010
In reply to: girlyal
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 8:16am

If it was me, (when I was single) if I didn't like somebody that much there was really nothing they could do about it, just as I couldn't change it if somebody wasn't that into me. However, somebody I did have positive feelings for could definitely kill them off by chasing too much, in other words, coming across to me as needy, desperate, stalking, smothering, not

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: girlyal
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 9:30am

Yes, you definitely need to sever all ties with the FWB.


You also need to tell him to slow down. That you're just dating and that he's moving things along a little to fast for you.



myspace-harley-davidson-comments-5.jpg picture by nhgal2006




I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2009
In reply to: girlyal
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 8:10am

Actually, what is interesting about your response is how you define chasing too much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2009
In reply to: girlyal
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 8:16am

Severing ties with the FWB isn't so easy, I'm discovering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: girlyal
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 3:51pm
There's your answer right there. You're really not interested in him, so it's better to end it now.



myspace-harley-davidson-comments-5.jpg picture by nhgal2006




I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: girlyal
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 3:52pm

There's nothing quite like having to end it with someone you care about. I can certainly relate to that!


Question, is he married or in a relationship with someone else? Have you talked to him about this "relationship"? Is he happy the way it is?



myspace-harley-davidson-comments-5.jpg picture by nhgal2006




I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2009
In reply to: girlyal
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 6:31pm

Nope, not married and not in a relationship with anyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2008
In reply to: girlyal
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 1:31am
I have no advice for you, but am in the same sort of situation. Been going on over a year and I KNOW I should end it, because I'm not going to get anywhere with him, but it's hard when I care about him and he pays attention to me and is a genuinely nice guy who I enjoy being around. How do you get rid of that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2009
In reply to: girlyal
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 7:17am

I totally understand.

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