why guys breakup - sudden withdrawal

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
why guys breakup - sudden withdrawal
8
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 2:22pm

Okay my boyfriend of 3 mo just broke up with me 2 weeks ago and about a week beforehand he began withdrawing - less texting, less calling, less hanging out,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 8:09pm

>>SO....NO offense to the ladies out there but I'd like to hear from a few guys - its hard to tell gender of persons posting.<<

Hi Nrcitygal, I know most of the posters on this thread and they are women. The only exception being xxxs. I realise you want more male input, but this is a women's chat board. (Hence the pink layout). If you want a man's input, you could try a site such as askmen.com. However, be prepared for extreme bluntness over there.

But even as women we can help. We've had male friends and exeriences when dating. There are more than a few of us who do understand the way men think.

Of course, when I talk of women here understanding men, I'm generalising. Despite what some men here may tell you, all men truly do think differently. Nobody knows that better than women who've dated more than one man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 6:53pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 6:11pm

SO....NO offense to the ladies out there but I'd like to hear from a few guys - its hard to tell gender of persons posting.


Women tend to me more analytical of stuff than men.


Guys - have you ever broken it off with a girl because you were scared of feeling committed or not ready for a relationship? or is this just an excuse ??


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 10:54pm

When a man wants a relationship with you, he wants to feel a connection, to be excited by you, to feel happy around you. It's really the same thing that women want in relationships but women tend to put so much pressure on a relationship that it's simply not fun anymore, the connection is strained, and the excitement vanishes.

What happened with this guy is dependent on him. In the long run it really doesn't matter why he didn't want a relationship with you, but if he felt really great being with you, he wouldn't have left. If you weren't adding any pressure to him, then my honest guess is that he hit the mark (often around 3 months) when people either decide they're getting happier or they aren't, and he decided he wasn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:41pm

Thanks for your honest reply. I truly thought the same thing. that it was infatuation and something caused him to realize I wasnt the one.


With me,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 7:17pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 5:05pm
What has happened is that many women rush to relationship. In the past there was stages to go thru.
In the 1960's it was free love and having a good time with your friends. High schoolers date many and would decide to go "steady". Now it's serial dating and rush to have a relationship. This rush in many ways in unnatural. Before you even know each other the pressure is to pair up.
Dating in many ways is a lie. We are usually on our best behavior. the sex is new and depending on the person very different from what each would want or do when it was always available.
For many people they are CONDITIONED TO A BUILD UP! Sexual interest is a mental-emotional decision. Women are socialized to think and feel in a different way from males. A female has a distinct chemistry held in ck by socialization. People can think themselves in to states of sexual arousal but these techniques are not taught.
The baggage our society put on people and the emotional price is devastating. Our belief system is a war with out biological selves. It is not committed relationship but the speed at which it happens. We do not think as much about out life goals, individual values and goals:or if they match.
We no longer live in a agrarian society. Our lives are not ruled by the sun and seasons. The old rules are breaking down as the influence of Political Correctness. Into this brave new world there are none before us to hand down the wisdom that they found.
xvx Pictures, Images and Photos


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 3:12pm

There is nothing that most guys do, don't do, think a certain way or act a certain way.

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