Why men are better at dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Why men are better at dating
12
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 9:39am

In the four or so years I've been around, I've seen a lot of women on this board asking questions with the subject "Confused" or "What is he thinking" and I admit I kind of roll my eyes a little bit because I know that the post is going to be a woman trying to figure out what a particular man wants.

Here's where men have the upper hand on women when it comes to dating: Men unconsciously Theput a priority on getting what they want. They simply do it. They live day to day, doing the things that they feel like doing. I have learned a lot from many male friends, and not one of them has ever asked "what is she thinking?" Even if they don't know exactly what they want themselves, they live their lives the way that benefits them without being immobilized other peoples' feelings.

It sounds selfish, and it is, but the ability to be selfish is extremely valuable in dating. The person who is the most self-centered is the one with the most control and the least confusion. Women in general just don't know how to prioritize their own needs, which is a great trait in a mother and selflessness comes naturally as a maternal instinct, but in the dating world, it is extremely detrimental.

I wish more women would date men and not get hung up on what he is thinking and feeling, what signals he's giving off, and just think: "Am I happy? If not, what do I need to change? Am I on the path to getting what I want?" and just LIVE without going crazy about what men might be thinking. You don't have to be "confused" if you put yourself first.

I changed my dating behavior based on what works for men, and my life is better for it. I haven't read "Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady" but I admit that the title appeals to me.

Just a rant :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 10:35am

"What I tell my girl friends is this:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 9:25am

Good morning! Thanks for replying.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 8:51am

I totally agree with you on this:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 9:02am
If you really want to see a guy squirm, ask him what he's thinking about while on a date with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:16pm

Chances are good if they

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 2:56pm
When a woman behaves like she is farther down the road with a man than she really is, I don't see it as selfless or giving at all. I think that it's all about herself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2005
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 2:32pm

Good post. My sister is reading the "Why men marry/love bitc$es" books and I think they are excellent (she read me parts of them over the phone). We need to think of us first.

I often see my husband being selfish and I resent him for it. I guess the me me me philosophy goes beyond dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:22pm

"I think part of the problem is that when women become sexually bonded to someone, they typically start to act more like a spouse than a date or girlfriend. They're so busy showing how great of a wife or partner they can be to him, that they forget about themselves"

This is absolutely true and I've seen it so many times. Women tend to lose their sense of "self" and focus on whether or not a man is serious about them. Why would a man want a woman who is psychotic and desperate over him? Wouldn't he rather have someone who keeps her cool, respects herself, gets what she wants, and enjoys her life?

"This is NOT to say that women should treat men badly or with disrespect when dating them"

I get what you're saying here. There's nothing necessarily cruel or mean about being self-centered, it doesn't have to be done at the expense of someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:15pm

All excellent points and responses :)



I'm sure you're going to get some backlash from those women who don't quite get the concept of "he's just not that interested in

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 6:25pm

Life, dating, relationships are only confusing if one makes them confusing, they're

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