Why would he do this?? Please help.
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|Tue, 04-08-2003 - 10:26am|
Here’s the story: If this post is inappropriate, let me know and I’ll post somewhere else. I posted here because you guys know the story and you always have mature, well-thought out replies. Last night was the long awaited first real date with “Art Guy”. I went to his house and he cooked an amazing dinner. We talked for hours and realized just how much we have in common. After dinner, he suggested we watch a movie that we had talked about earlier. I agreed to stay for a while, so the lights were turned down and we sat next to each other on the couch.
Halfway through the movie, my hand brushing against his arm led to holding hands. That led to a very nice kiss. That led to passionate kissing. That led to really making out on the couch. I really like him so I’m not opposed to making out with him, but I am opposed to anything past that happening. When he tried to slip his hand down the back of my pants, I stopped him and we went back to kissing.
A few minutes later, he did it again, but I let him linger there (he wasn’t really doing anything bad- just touching the bare skin on my back with his hands, but I knew what would come next if I didn’t stop him), so I stopped him. Next, we laid down on the couch- him on top. We kissed, and then sat back up. Then we laid back down again- him on top. He tried to put his hand down my pants again. This time the front, and I stopped him very quickly, but he didn’t remove his hand. Maybe because we were still kissing while all of this was going on, but I said to stop, and he didn’t. Then I tried pulling his hand away, but he didn’t stop. I said please stop, and he didn’t. I now stop kissing him and pull back to look him in the eye and say stop. It now becomes a tug of war between him pushing down and me pulling away. I said stop again loudly and he now paused, and slowly stopped. For a moment there I thought that he was really going to rape me. Thankfully, he didn’t do anything. I’ve just always believed that you shouldn’t have to do something like that to get a guy to stop. When someone says no, it means no.
The weird part is that I don’t know how to feel about it. I definitely didn’t want that to happen, but I still like him and want to see him. Shortly after that whole incident, we calmed down and lightly kissed, I told him that I needed to drive home; he got me a bottled water from the kitchen and walked me outside. We kissed a moment, where things were still heated, but he clearly understood my boundaries. I’m just very confused. Should I be concerned about my safety with this guy? Do I make the judgment that he is now a potential rapist and never go out with him again, or do I give him the benefit of knowing that things did get a little out of hand from both parties, and give this thing a shot? Obviously, if we do go out again, I’ll make sure that we are in a different setting, and that we don’t end up in that situation again. Please help me out guys. I’m feeling very melancholy and confused.