work out buddy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
work out buddy
12
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 10:32am
Is it ok to have a workout buddy of the opposite sex if you are married?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 11:16am

That depends on each individual relationship and what is okay or not okay in your relationship.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 3:04pm
I think so. But it all depends on the situation, what you and your spouse thinks.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 3:51pm
I think its ok as long as there arent any boundaries that are crossed...... (this means that you and your SO need to discuss and agree on boundaries, have a boundary in place
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 4:03pm
i need to add one more thing......
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 4:10pm

We really just don't do opposite sex friendships. I think in reality they're usually

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 4:58pm
The truth is that I am the one uncomfortable with it. My husband has asked to work out with this girl. She is single and I have never met her. She wants to become a trainer but is not as of right now. I allowed him to go a couple of times, He saw results and he started shedding weight and getting muscle definition. I never liked it so I finally told him not to do it anymore. He was happy that he was getting trained for free and he was upset when I told him to stop. I don't want to control him and I don't want him to think I have jealousy issues or that I don't trust him but it would make me extremely uncomfortable and upset. Most of my friends agree with me with the exception of one. She tells me that perhaps I don't trust him. I do trust him but I question what is in it for this girl and why is she bothering with a married man. That's about it in a nutshell. I would NEVER think of working out with another man, I have no need and no desire. For me, its either with my husband or alone! And I know that if I was doing something that bothered him, I would stop instantly because his feelings are more important than upsetting him to me. I guess at this point I am feeling like Did I do the right thing by finally stopping it? I think I did. I never liked it from the beginning anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 5:12pm

My husband and I have a policy that the two of us are in the inside with eachother, all others are on the outside. No one gets in if either of us doesn't like it, that's automatic and that's it. Why let strangers come between you is how we see it.




Edited 4/17/2010 4:51 pm ET by coconut2010
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 6:54pm

Well, did you find out why she was training your husband? Perhaps she had a couple of guys she was working on and honing her trainer skills?

I can't blame your husband - if he was seeing results that's great. I also don't think that there's any great harm in him finding it titillating, even pleasant, to have a female trainer as long as that was the extent of his interest. Personally I'd find having a fit female trainer to be more motivating than a hairy sweat guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 9:01pm

When your friend says you don't trust him or that you're insecure,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 9:15pm

Michelabella, is your husband her ONLY workout buddy?

It's just that I have a male friend who is also very interested in personal training and he works out with and unofficially trains a small group of people who he works with. Male and female, married and unmarried. And he sees them at different times depending on who is at the gym when. The sex and marital status is unimportant...what is important is the willingness of the workout buddies to train.

I'd perhaps be concerned if your hubby was her only unofficial client, but if he's one of many then why do you not trust this situaton? Also, if he's the only one, is she working towards getting a few other workout buddies?

I will not comment on the issues of control or jealousy until I know more about the dynamics of her other workout buddies

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