would we still be here if we didn't care

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2008
would we still be here if we didn't care
7
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 12:21am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 2:47am
Hi newchances, you sound like you've met a great guy. However, given that you seem to be the one holding back on the relationship, I'm not sure what your question is.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 6:19am

I also don't understand what you're asking.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 9:07am

"for now I just want exclusivity, no promises of a relationship necessary yet. " How do these two things go together ?? There is exclusivity only in a bf/gf relationship.

Its understandable to be cautious but so much that you lose as to what constitutes a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2008
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 12:19pm
It's good to get some else's perspective. He talks relationship altho' he's not ready to go there yet, I guess he feels we know each other well enough to move there next. He's mature and thoughtful about what he does. He still has a 16 yo who's learning to drive and is very involved in a sport all of which I understand. He has said he doesn't want me to disappear and thanked me for waiting for him. We both know that I have been waiting for him to be ready for us. I don't see him all that often and obviously I have been content to take things slow as well. We do share a strong physical attraction so I don't want us to fall into the just friends zone. My question is this, he's an awesome man, I unfortunately met him too soon after he seperated. He could have used me as a transition woman but didn't. And we are still interested and intriged by one another. So my question is shall I keep the friendship going until he is ready, just don't want to slip into the friend zone too much if you know what I mean. And yes I keep busy with my own life and have other things in my life. I do feel lately that he's drawing closer and I'm sure it's a little unsettling for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2008
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 12:31pm
Maybe you're right we're not in the same place I just thought getting to a relationship came after you dated for awhle and could see you were good together. To me it seems strange to have to say early on before you know someone that you're in a relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 2:57pm

I am sorry but if he is not ready to be in a relationship now and you wait ,he may suddenly find someone with whom he really wants to be and is ready.So to tell you 'not ready' could be interpreted as 'not ready for you'.If you want a relationship, tell him so.Playing around as friends is ultimately going to turn into friends with benefits and you dont want that,I presume.
When you go around as friends,have sex but are not in a relationship ( as he is not ready )-- FWB.Its good to be friends but not zoned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 4:03pm

.....We both know that I have been waiting for him to be ready for us.".....

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