Wow once again!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Wow once again!
3
Sun, 04-21-2013 - 8:31pm

MB made another comment about a ring yesterday.  He asked me what size ring I wear because my hands look so small.  So I told him and he said he'd have to remember that for when he buys me a ring.  I very calmy said make it elegant and not gawdy.  MB: if I do that you'll say yes?  Sarcastically I said yep, that's all it would take. He runs hot and cold depending on the way the wind is blowing I swear.  One minute he's telling me I should go to a friends party because maybe I'll find a boyfriend and the next he's flirting and making comments like that.  Then to top it off he called me at midnight last night.  He'd been drinking and was depressed over a family issue.  Out of the blue he tells me that I'll probably start dating "X" now (X being another guy at work). I said where did that come from? He said well he's a nice good looking guy, works hard and just split with his wife. I told him he was off his rocker that I had no interest there (because I honestly don't) and told him he had no right or reason to be jealous.  And a week ago another guy at work made a comment on my hair as I walked past him.  Evidently he went back to his station where MB works and kept telling him that he wanted to touch my hair.  MB calls me over the inter-company phone and said what the heck did you do to "Y", he can't stop talking about your hair! OMG....Grow Up!   I ended up sending him an email telling him exactly what I think of his behavior. Told him that he's been playing games leading me on just to keep me close but not too close. Told him I like our conversations and hope we can remain friends just without all the crap.  I put up with a lot from a lot of people but I can only be pushed so far before I go off. LOL, I haven't heard from him so either he is mad at me now or just too hungover to reply. And the wonderful thing is that I don't even care anymore if he's mad or not. I feel great getting it off my chest finally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 4:42pm

This guy is really wierd, isn't he?  I'm glad that you got to the point where you don't care about him, cause he's really toying with your feelings.  I'd just be very vague--like if he says "maybe you'll meet a guy at a party" you can say "Oh maybe I will" but not sound like you care or if he says "maybe you'll start dating X at the company because he's handsome" etc. you could say "Oh I hadn't notice, but since you suggested it, maybe I'll check him out"--don't even bother to tell him you're not interested.  I'd just be very neutral and not feed into his odd behavior.  I also wouldn't talk to him if he calls at midnight--you must have caller ID, right?  I'd be mad at anyone who called me at midnight unless it was my best friend w/ an emergency--if he's drinking & depressed, let him call his family member or his best (guy) friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 4:35pm

I know it seems strange that I still would like to be friends with him but he nomally is a good guy.....just messed up. I don't really know how it got to this point.  Not to mention we have the most awesome & deep conversations because we have tons in common.  But I really told him exactly how I felt about his game playing.  When he came into my office this morning I was busy with a supervisor so he left right away.  I thought he was for sure mad. But then he came back later and we had about 2 minutes alone and he told me he wasn't mad and he was glad I was honest with him.  He's supposed to call me tonight to "clear up some things", whatever that means. I hope that we can get back to the place we started, only time will tell.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 10:10am

He's never even asked you out and he's talking about rings now. He's pulling out the big guns since he senses he's losing your interest. How long are you going to let yourself be the toy that the big cat bats around? Why would you even want to be friends with someone who doesn't care about your feelings and what he's doing to you? He's not going to stop. It's too much fun for him to play with such a willing toy. If you can block him, do so. Tell him you have a bf and you don't communicate with other guys when you're in a serious relationship. If you have to change your number, do it. You're riding around on this merry go round that's getting you absolutely nowhere. Every moment spend on him is a huge waste of time. 

If it's a long term bf you want, spend your time and energy on that goal. Try meetups.com. Try new hobbies. Join a co-ed sports team. Go to places you don't normally go--the bowling alley, a museum. Take dance lessons, cooking lessons, etc. Good luck.