Writer Needs Help From 18-30 year olds

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Writer Needs Help From 18-30 year olds
2
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 12:31pm
I'm working on an article about communication and why couples fight. it would be most helpful to me if you would answer my brief survey if you've ever been in a serious relationship. you can e-mail it back to me (Sorrells@HWS.edu) or post the reply here. Thanks!



Are you male or female?



Is your significant other male or female?



How often do you and your significant other fight (from squabbles to arguments)?



What do you generally fight about?


Give an example of a situation you’ve fought over:



What sparks these fights? Is there something common about them (lack of trust, inability to communicate, something like that)?

What is the biggest problem in your relationship?



Do you sometimes feel that you and your significant other are speaking different languages? If so, how?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 12:45pm
This is my second marriage. My first marriage had *very* different answers.

Are you male or female?

Male

Is your significant other male or female?

Female.

How often do you and your significant other fight (from squabbles to arguments)?

2-3 times/month. Mostly minor things that blow over in 1/2 hour.

What do you generally fight about?

It varies greatly. It's most typical that one of us is upset about something outside of our relationship, and we just snap at the closest person.

Give an example of a situation you’ve fought over:

I woke up and was feeling sick. I felt worse after my shower and was very self absorbed in how yucky I was feeling. She greeted me all happy and bouncy, and it annoyed the heck out of me. I interrupted her to inform her that I was "grumpy", and even the sound of her voice was irritating me (she's asked me to inform her if I'm in a grumpy mood"). Needless to say my lack of tact went over like a brick, and she was mad at me for a few hours.

What sparks these fights? Is there something common about them (lack of trust, inability to communicate, something like that)?

We do have some that stem from insecurity. Most are from outside pressures that put one of us in a bad mood.

What is the biggest problem in your relationship?

Right now? My in-laws... :-) They are driving my wife nuts.

Do you sometimes feel that you and your significant other are speaking different languages? If so, how?

Very much so. She's Maltese. I don't speak it very well. :-)

Seriously though. There are occasions where she has wonderful insight into other women, and I just don't see where it comes from. It underlies some of the difference in the way men and women think.

Brokk...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 2:12pm
Are you male or female?

Female (20)

Is your significant other male or female?

Male(25)

How often do you and your significant other fight (from squabbles to arguments)?

at least 3 times per month

What do you generally fight about?

the dog or my family

Give an example of a situation you’ve fought over:

I wasn't disciplining the dog enough and so she was being bad and that made him upset.

What sparks these fights? Is there something common about them (lack of trust, inability to communicate, something like that)? partially inabilty to communicate how he exactly wants me to punish the dog or laziness on my part of not disciplining the dog

What is the biggest problem in your relationship? PATIENCE!!!!!!!!

Do you sometimes feel that you and your significant other are speaking different languages? If so, how? yes, because I need to open my ears and finish hearing what he has to say instead of formulating my next response.