YELLOW roses after 3yrs???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2009
YELLOW roses after 3yrs???
4
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 9:16pm

To make a long story short, I have been seeing this man for 3yrs. Things have always been rocky between us and last year about Nov. he told me he thought we should be just friends. I said that is not what I wanted but we continued to see eachother but no sex involved, until about 3 months later he brought it up and then it happened. Things kinda went back to the same as before but of course, I continued to nag and complain and things were good for a week or so and then it would start all over again. So this April he goes to court for a violation of probation (which I knew all about his issues) and he got sentenced to a year. He is now in a work release center where he gets out for work and visits. we have gotten closer because I am the only one that has stood by him through all of this. He asked to live with me and I said yes so he comes for visits all the time. He came for a visit the other day and we were watching tv and someone knocks on the door and I open it and there is a delivery for roses and 2 balloons, I read the card and it says "you will always be special to me Love, and then his name" He pulls out a card and it was a thoughtful card that said thank you for always being there, BUT the roses were YELLOW?? Not red roses but yellow. I know he knows the colors of the roses, he likes getting flowers so I know he knows the meanings.


I feel like all of that was for friendship and not love. What are your opinions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 10:20pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 11:24pm

You said he is well aware of the meaning of flower colours so I think that the meaning is clear.

He said that he only wanted to be "friends" (and I would have taken that to be friends with benefits).

Yet it sounds like you've been in and out of his life. Despite periods where you didn't have sex, you're still mostly having sex which is a powerful reason for a guy to keep you around. You say that its rocky between the two of you.

It's simple and pretty darned clear to me. It's as he said, he likes you, he likes the sex, but he doesn't want to feel commitmented or involved with you. He knew damned well what message he was sending with yellow flowers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 8:15am

I agree with Coconut on everything, the roses and the relationship.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 2:05am

Hi there,


I’d say that the colour of the roses is secondary...If I were you, I’d worry more so about his intentions and motives towards you. It sounds to me he is using you not only for sex but also for the emotional support and living arrangement you can, and are obviously very willing, to provide him. To be blunt...a gesture of flowers, whatever colour they may be, is far cheaper than paying rent whilst serving his sentence....


Just because you are there for him in all those ways does not mean he sees you as “happily ever after”. He clearly told you what he could and couldn’t give you. Unless he vocalizes otherwise, i would say it’s not wise to read further into it. He seems to be taking advantage of you and the situation for his own benefit.


Perhaps the flowers were a nice gesture of appreciation but unless he has told you that you are in a relationship...I wouldn’t go expecting anything more than “friendship” flowers...and perhaps that explains his choice in colour.


My suggestion, start smelling the roses.....

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