Dessert Reception, 100% OOT guests
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|Sun, 08-03-2008 - 5:07pm|
We're still in the initial planning stages as we're thinking of a Fall 2009 wedding, but I want to see if we're breaking any wedding etiquette with our idea. 100% of our guests will be from out of town as we just moved to a new state, and everyone we know is scattered across the country anyway. Our guest list will be about 125-150 invited people, mostly family and college friends. It's really hard to estimate how many confirmed we will get since people will have to fly in, and it will be an expensive weekend. I'm guessing 75 at this point.
We already decided to have the wedding in our new state because choosing a location where any of our family is would have complicated planning, and disappointed people in the locations we did not choose (and we have family and friends in six cities and three states).
Our idea is to do a late-night wedding and reception at the same site. Wedding ceremony at sunset, and then a dessert reception afterwards. We want our reception to be something unique and memorable. Our main idea to do this is to take the emphasis away from "getting drunk," and also enable people to mingle and talk more than if there was loud music and dancing as the focus, and having people sitting for a dinner with one set of people and feeling stuck to their assigned seat. A lot of our family and friends have not met each other, so mingling is important. Personally, we don't like dancing and won't be doing the "first dance" thing as that would make me very uncomfortable. But, we know we can't cut it out completely because some people like dancing.
Also, by not having a sit-down dinner, we have more opportunities to mingle with guests. We are thinking of forgoing a lot of the traditional toasts, speeches, and wedding "stuff" as we are non-traditional. Another plus of this is allowing everyone to have all day Saturday to site see, go out to dinner where they want, and meet up for a late-night thing. Our wedding site has a hotel within walking distance with great rates, and I expect many people to choose it (making it more ok to go late into the night). I am expecting almost no children. The cost might almost be the same as an informal dinner buffet because of our ideas:
*espresso bar with made-to-order drinks
*hot chocolate, coffee, tea
*champagne, Bailey's for coffee, maybe some white wine
*wedding cake of course
*many desserts, bite-sized so people can sample everything
*sugar free sweets as many diabetics will be there
*nuts and snack mixes on the tables
*putting some stuff out on tables like playing cards for fun
*small dance floor and quieter music
*tables and chairs set up more intimately
*maybe some sort of entertainment like a magician, mime, caricature artist (or all!)
The warm drinks may be important as we want to have this on an outdoor deck in Fall. But, it is tented all around and has heating. I don't think heat/warmth should be an issue, but I wouldn't want to serve ice cream either. Temperature may be in the 50s
Since people will be coming in from out of town and spending a lot of money getting here, will they be disappointed if they don't get dinner? From what I've read, a dessert reception is ok if it is after a dinner time. And, we're not planning to skimp on the food and drinks. It's more of an atmosphere thing then saving money for us.
What should the dress code be? We were thinking more of an informal wedding, such as dressy casual, but it seems with the time of day a cocktail attire may be more appropriate. Could we still pull off dressy casual? The wedding party will probably be in stuff they already own, such as black cocktail dresses for the girls, and suits for the guys. My wedding dress is very non-traditional as it is tea-length (no train, bustle, or veil). From what I understand, the guests usually seem to be dressed a little below the wedding party, so it could work if the guys wore slacks and a shirt or sweater, and the girls more a casual dress.
Any thoughts? Thanks!