Mom not invited but dad insists!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2009
Mom not invited but dad insists!
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 2:23pm

Hi all!

It is finally here and my fiance and I are getting married in September. We have just gotten around to telling everyone because we wanted everything to be in place(the venue, dress, guest list, etc...we are paying for it ourselves). Well, my dad was very excited and he is very supportive of our union. My mom, however is not. She does not want us to get married let alone be together at all. I have written posts about my mom in the "toxic relationship" boards so I will not post anything more other than she has not been there for me and she has been nothing but disrespectful to my fiance and to his family. Now my dad does not associate with my mom. She has done so much damage to their relationship over the years that he wants nothing to do with her. Now when it comes to my wedding, he is very adamant about inviting her to the wedding. I have heavily expressed that I do not want her there! He insists that she be invited despite our issues. He has even gone along to over to pay for police escorts and security at the wedding in case anything gets out of hand and she will be thrown out. I want to prevent that by not inviting her all together. The plot thickens when he says that if she is not invited that he does not want to take part in something that is inappropriate. I do not understand that! My relationship with my father has been estranged for years all due to my mother, her lies, and her manipulation. And, after almost 24years we finally have a stable, loving relationship. I do not understand why he cares if she is there or not! We have worked so hard on our relationship over the past year repairing the damages and I want nothing more than to have him walk me down the aisle. I do not want my mother to once again come between us and he is even willing to call and tell her himself that mi fiance and I are getting married.  I am hoping that she is so against our marriage that she simply decides not to come.