You do have some big things going on right now, no wonder you are feeling whiney. I hope that venting helped you to feel a little better.
Was your husband involved in raising your sons when they were growing up? Is he at all close with them, or was he just waiting for them to grow up and move on, or something in between?
When you try to communicate your feelings to your dh, what is his response?
Thank you for your reply.