21 and in need of some more mature opinions

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
21 and in need of some more mature opinions
Fri, 08-31-2012 - 2:10am

So I just recently started seeing a guy who is 25 years old. He is just starting his career and is the very responsible type. I am used to dating other 21 and 22 year old guys who are still in their crazy party stage. I myself go out drinking with friends quite often. I am wondering if he is going to start to think I am too young for him based on my life style. Since I have started seeing him I try to not have as many drinks while we are out and also not be out so much. I'm in college though and I am finding it difficult to be in the environment and not get crazy with friends. My friends keep telling me to stop changing just because I think a guy won't like it. But I see it more as maybe I am maturing and realizing it is time to be more responsible and spend more time on homework and other things than on getting wild all the time. Aren't relationships kind of supposed to change people a little? And do you think this guy will be good for me or is the age gap and maturity level going to be a problem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Sat, 09-01-2012 - 12:42am
Well your friends have a point about not changing just to please a guy. So ponder that. Are you changing yourself because YOU want to or because you think he wants you to? While I'm not one to suggest that partying frequently is a great idea, it is however up to you to decide if that's what you want to do and you shouldn't change just for someone else. If you aren't ready to end your wild ways then there is nothing wrong with that and you'll change when you're ready.

If you're cutting back because YOU want to then it probably is an indicator that you're maturing and there is nothing wrong with that.

Only time will tell if this guy is good for you or not. If you 2 have common interests and similar goals then yes you 2 could be very good for each other. However if you have very little in common and you're both always nagging the other about lifestyle choices, then you probably won't be good for each other. Given how recently you 2 have started dating its hard to say which way things will go. It is perfectly ok to just enjoy getting to know him and see where things go.
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