31 and alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2007
31 and alone
5
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 10:12am

Hi All,


I am new to the boards.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
In reply to: baghag78
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 10:42am

Welcome to the board.

I think you should allow yourself to mourn the death of the relationship, then focus on enjoying single life for a while and then decide if you're ready to jump back into the dating scene. It sounds like you've already made a huge step by moving into a new place. Take time to enjoy your new place; decorate it, make it yours. Do all the things you gave up for him. Get to know yourself again. And, above all, stick around here.


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  "Aut dosce, aut disce, aut discede"
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
In reply to: baghag78
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 3:01pm

Hi Baghad,


Welcome to the board!!!!!!!!!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: baghag78
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 4:20pm

>>I gave my entire life up for him (I know big mistake) but I did.<<


No you didn't.

First of all, 31 is young -- you still have your whole life in front of you. Second, I guarantee this relationship taught you things that you may not fully appreciate until later. Relationships are NOT a waste of time, even if they end. He is part of who you are now -- embrace that, be thankful for the gifts this relationship gave you, and give yourself time to grieve and move on.

>>And now I am moving into a new condo and scared to death of the time I will have to think.<<

Let's change that around: Just think of all the time you have to think! :) You get a chance to get to know your best friend again - YOU! You might be surprised what your own space and freedom to think and do as you please will lead to. You have new doors to open -- get excited!


--


I am not trying to be a Pollyanna here. I KNOW how much pain you must feel right now. Saying goodbye to a love is very difficult. I dated someone for five years and we ended much the same way you and your guy did (I was 29).

I am now 34, and life has moved on. I am stronger for the experience and so happy for where my life has led me.

HUGS. Enjoy getting to know yourself again. Don't focus on meeting men just yet -- just try to do things that feed your own soul and make you happy. Doing that will lead to friends and, someday, a special someone.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2007
In reply to: baghag78
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 4:38pm

Thank you all for your words!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
In reply to: baghag78
Fri, 06-19-2009 - 11:25pm
((((hugs))))
i don't have anything to say that the other ladies haven't already. you've got a lot of great advice here and just know that we're always here to listen, offer advice, or just socialize. these ladies really helped me get through a break-up early this year. Everyone here is AWESOME!!!
like everyone said, it will take time but know that you will get through this!!!




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