Another question on dating divorced dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Another question on dating divorced dad
5
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 12:17pm

Hola Gals!

I have another question for you on dating a divorced dad. As you know the one I've been dating has his little kids for the next 2 weeks.

We have barely communicated. He sent me that message the other day thanking me for offering to help him but now nada. How did you deal with it? I know people are busy but mercy. And since I don't have kids I can't even relate...so I'm just curious if you experienced something similar and how you handled it. I'm trying to not fall into negative thoughts and let my imagination run wild.

Thanks,
Rachel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 12:30pm

There's no need to let negative, irrational thoughts run wild. Single parenting is a full-time, unpaid job in and of itself. I believe you said the children are 2 and 4? That's more than even two people can often handle! If he's working then picking up the kids after work, playing with them, feeding them, and bathing them and putting them to bed, he's probably beyond exhausted at the end of the day.

I've been fortunate that when I'm not spending time with my fiance and his daughters, we have a scheduled time to talk to one another after the girls are in bed. It was something we established early in our relationship.

Let him have some time with his kids and to get into a routine with them. If he's not used to having them for this length of time, he's probably feeling really overwhelmed right now. While you've offered assistance, he may not be ready for you to meet the children yet. Give him some time and I'm sure everything will be back to as normal as it can be.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 12:31pm
I can't help you here because I don't have children and have never dated
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 12:40pm

Hi Rachel,


do your best to be patient.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Thu, 05-28-2009 - 1:15pm

Wow gals thank you for the input.

I will have to save this thread and keep re-reading it when I have crazy thoughts! Although I know he is a single dad - I'm thinking of all this in the total wrong way - as if he is a single man fooling with me. He added me to his Facebook last week - which half the time I don't log into and use - but when I do I see he may have posted a quote or article. Which he loves doing - to provoke thought and discussion among his friends he told me. But that bugs me because then I get those negative thoughts moving and think what is he doing!? I know it probably sounds so juvenile. Obviously I've got my own baggage of insecurity to deal with here.

But I will practice my patience as you recommend. It is the best thing to do. :) :) Especially because he is getting to spend quality time with his kiddos.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2009
Sun, 05-31-2009 - 6:29pm
Hola Rachel, I wish I could offer some advice on this also but the simple truth is I have no experience of divorced dads with kids either. I believe Ivil has almost 1,000 boards in all and I'm sure there must be one that deals with this very situation. I'm sending you all good wishes on this one :)