How to steal the show on my birthday?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
How to steal the show on my birthday?
Sat, 12-20-2003 - 2:06pm
My birthday is next Friday. My friend will be in town, and if you've read previous posts of mine you'll know that she's the one who seems to think she's the hottest thing around. No matter how good I think I look, as soon as I see her I know that she'll be the one getting the attention. She already is getting a bunch of her friends together to go out for it. The problem is, none of my other friends or co workers will be around to go out since it's the day after Christmas-always hard to get people together-so even though it's my birthday, it'll be pretty much her friends who I know, but I would call them acquaintances, not friends. I want to be the center of attention for a change, but I know that I won't. I'm shy so I want to be able to stand out in the crowd and I want guys to talk to me for a change and not her. She'll want to go dancing at the end of the night, and per usual, she'll get her way. I hate dancing and plus no one ever talks to you when you're one the dance floor, unless they're drunk and trying to score. I want to be at a bar where there's a possibility of having a conversation. I'm not stuck on myself at all, but that night I want to be the star. What can I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 3:38pm
Why don't you dump this friend and find some new ones? From your previous posts, its clear that seeing her makes you miserable, you have no respect for her and you don't particularly like her. Why not accept that you have nothing in common and go your separate ways instead of continuing to play the resentful shadow to her life of the party? You're never going to show her that you're better than her, becasue in her mind, you're the friend that is lacking and needs her social guidance. It's time to move on and find some friends that appreciate you for who you are and not for how you can make them look better!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Sun, 12-21-2003 - 7:56pm
Why do you feel you must be the center of attention? Get out of the shy cell and party down it's your birthday. I've had friends who love being the center of attention, however while she is dancing on the dance floor start talking to all the guys around you when she's not around. If you do not make the first move, and at least say HI, then you might miss out on a good guy at least to date and have dinner with. Oh and BTW let them all know it's your birthday that is a great conversation starter and that might make you the center of attention for a few moments. But all in all let her be the center of attention and if you do not like dancing then make the rounds while she is on the floor talk to all the guys, that's what I use to do..I'm not much of a dancer maybe it's the Capricorn in us. My Birthday 12.26.1967
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 10:24am
First off, in case I forget as the week progresses, have a very Happy Birthday!

It's your day; if you're all getting together to celebrate your birthday, where you go/what you do should be up to you. Is there a particular place you'd like to go? Just tell your friend that you'd really like to go to for a change.

I know about wanting to look your best, and not being the wallflower. You can change your make-up or hairdo, buy a special outfit, and while these things will all help, what's really going to get you noticed is your attitude. People are naturally attracted to other people who exude confidence (not cockiness, mind you!), great self esteem and a good sense of humor. You need to walk into a place and know that you're something. I know you're shy, but just try to be a little more out-going, try to strike up a conversation, smile at people. You'll be surprised.

Good luck!


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 10:44am

Hi, "mapper71"

First of all Happy Birthday to you. I really think that you don't need to do nothing to be the center of attention in any situation. Trying to do so is a sign of low self-esteem (sorry for me being so honest) but I think this is very important. The girl that think that she's the hottest doesn't have a high self-esteem, she's hiding her low sel-esteem (you can be SHURE about that) and guys that are worth it really know the difference between a fake low self esteem girl and a a one that shines with her own glow. Just focuse on having fun. Talk to everyone. Enjoy your day, you only need to celebrate. You don't need no one to celebrate for you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2002
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 11:08pm
First off, Happy Birthday ahead of time!!! (since I'll be out of town that day and may not get a chance to go online). Second, I'd recommend surrounding yourself with good people whom you truly enjoy; this friend doesn't sound like someone you enjoy being around, because you've complained about her a lot on this board. There might be at least one friend/co-worker of yours who'd be available that day? Whatever you decide to do, maybe focusing more on the event and the celebration would help you feel more confident and relaxed. Calling attention to oneself is a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem, and your "friend" is actually low on confidence! If you must spend that time with her, maybe you could try talking to new people at the bar/club; tell them it's your birthday, as one of the other posters suggested. That could be a good ice-breaker.

Hope that helps. Take care and have a great birthday!!!

Sapna aka sap198

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 6:50am
I don't really have anything to add here, except Happy Birthday!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Tue, 12-23-2003 - 8:19am
You know what? I went out last night for a co-worker's birthday and I had a great time! Just like a few weeks ago when we went out after our Christmas party I was hanging out with the wife of one of my co-workers and I was having fun-and it showed! I was laughing and smiling and both times they were trying to introduce me to guys. Nothing came of it either time because one seemed interested but was leaving and last night the girl I was with was trying to get some info out of a bartender that was serving us all night and he said he thought I was cute, but he had a girlfriend. It didn't matter though because I felt attractive and I was having a good time. These girls I've been with are silly and down to earth and kid around with the guys. The fact that they're either married or with someone probably helps. This doesn't happen with my other friend who I will be spending Friday night with. She says you have to wait for a guy to approach you and you never ask him out. She says everytime we go out that we won't be spending money on drinks because the guys are going to buy them for us, and guess what, they don't! She's too busy trying to sweet talk guys or checking her makeup or being on her cell phone every half hour to be down to earth with them. It's like she talks herself into all of this stuff to reassure herself she's attractive. I pray that everytime we get a server that it'll be a woman because if it's a guy she'll always ask "do you have any specials just for us" and I just want to crawl into a hole, but it makes me feel good when they say no. We were only out until 10:00 last night and that was fine. She feels the need to be out until 2:00 everytime because it's "cool". The only men she seems to want are the married men. She has this ongoing thing with one guy who says he has a girlfriend (it's not a girlfriend-it's his wife!) and my friend found it out through a friend of his but doesn't let on to him that she knows so she can get flown to wherever he is to spend a weekend with him and get nice things from him because he's got money. Another married guy she ended up secretly meeting many times for dinner and just to be alone. When she does meet someone who shows interest and who's single (what a concept!) she seems to lose interest because they aren't married.