I need Guys Advice Quick

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
I need Guys Advice Quick
3
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 1:45pm
OK, here is the story. I'm 23 years old I met this guy (32 years) online he lives in NY I live in Georgia, he talked on the phone for about 2 months every day for a hours and hours. Last month he came to her to see me, we finally seen eachother for the first time. Everything was good, I was attracted to him he was attracted to me. We spend the weekend at my house and we both had a great time. When we talked on the phone he told me he had fallen in love with me and he wanted to be with me, ok, the day he was living he told me he wanted to see me again I told him offcourse by the middle of the week when he went back home things started to change he did not call as ofter and I finally decided to ask him what was the matter and he told me there is nothing we can do about a relationship right now because we live in different states and that we are not at the point of moving together (which never crossed my mind)Anyway, I decided not to call him anymore and he does not call either. Well I found out I'm pregnant yesterday and (by the way we used a condom at all times)I thought it was the right thing to let him know since is his, anyway I told him and he told me: you know what you have to do we cannot have a baby right now you will destroy both our lives and I told him I was not considering abortion at this moment since I'm very confused and dont know what to do. I dont know what to do, since I feel having the baby or not having it is a decision we both have to make since it will tied us down for live. Guys please give me your opionion and advice on this. If I decide to have the baby is it really fair for him he told him if I decided to have the baby there is no way he wont be there for the baby, he said he has to be there for the baby but is it really fair for me to make that choice for him. What should I do. On the other hand I'm only 23 years old I'm goig thru police academy right now and I'll be done in January. What do I do. Thanks

Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 4:04pm
Well technically there is only ONE person who will be tied down for the rest of their lives...and that is you. He could choose to be involved or to disappear. As you are well aware already, no form of birth control is 100%. He took a chance as much as you did.....this is not exclusively YOUR fault OR his. As it is your body, and your life, and your goals at risk, I feel that it is mostly your decision...not a decision that you HAVE to make together. If you choose to have an abortion, and if that is against your beliefs, YOU will be the one to have to deal with that for the rest of your life...Be true to yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2003
Sat, 10-25-2003 - 12:16am
There is a third option. You could put the child up for adoption. Personally I think adoption is a much easier thing to live with than abortion.
Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 2:20pm
Absolutely! I was just going on the two options that she mentioned in her original post as those seem to be the 2 options she is considering.