Insight/Advice Needed

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Insight/Advice Needed
Fri, 09-14-2012 - 4:58pm

Hi Everyone. I am new to this but wanted to reach out to see if anyone could provide advice or insight.

I am in my late 20's, 12 years with my husband (high school sweethearts), two years married.

I am currently unhappy in my marriage. Quite honestly, we have grown up and into two very different people. I also have feelings for a mutual friend of ours who embodies everything that I wish DH was.

My unhappiness stems from the fact that there's a divide in our relationship. I have a white collar career whereas my DH is blue collar. Our outlooks on the world are inherently different.  I love literature, culture and travel whereas he's content with sitting at home watching T.V. or taking trips to local vacation spots.  I think about everyone else first, he thinks that's me letting people walk all over me, I am outgoing, he is intrinsic, I am sensitive, he is has a tough exterior, He enjoys one genre of music whereas I enjoy them all, I am an enternal optimist, he is a pessimist.

Through all these years together, I have loved him and from the time we met as teenagers, I envsioned marriage and children. Although we are different, we share laughs together and nobody knows me like he does.Now I just worry that I made a mistake by marrying him and that I am holding onto him because he is all I have ever known that we have been through so much together. Essentially, our history.

I wonder what it means that I have feelings for our friend. Even though I would never act on them, I can't help but realize that these feelings are happening due to what is missing in the marriage.  Our friend is everything I menitoned above that my DH is not.  I think about finding someone that does embody the characteristics I want in a spouse.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Is this all normal to feel? Do you think these differences are too vast to withstand a long, happy marriage?  I feel quite alone right now and I would appreciate any insight you might have