A little bummed

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
A little bummed
13
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 6:22pm

C.'s kids are off school this week and next for the holiday break. Both kids were supposed to be with us tonight and spend the night -- we don't have them for Christmas, but we will have them starting Saturday for a few days.


Anyway, DSD5 called C. this morning and said she didn't want to spend the night. She's never done that before, and C. is really bummed (so am I, actually).


I am wondering if her mom is starting to try to turn her against us? It is really weird and I don't know what to think. :(


AJ, enjoying life with C.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 6:50pm

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))


I'm sorry that you're feeling down!!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 6:58pm

That is a good idea, Kristie. There has been enough drama with BM that a log might come in handy someday.

Good point about not thinking about it too much, but I am sad for C. that he doesn't get to spend much time with DSD these days. The lack of time with her is highlighted by having DSS around more.


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AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 7:08pm
I would be sad too!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 8:45am

that is a good idea... and am sure some wont think so... but think how vaulable that info would be IF something comes up later on.... good thinking...


and tallgirlco.. yea i wouldnt worry or think about this too much.. i wont say at all.. because i know if it were me .. that wouldnt be a option... but it is almost xmas.. and this season makes US ALL

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 11:22am
>>but it is almost xmas.. and this season makes US ALL

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 11:39am

My heart goes out to you. We deal with some of this occasionally, mostly with the youngest saying she doesn't want to be here and wants to be with her mom. For us, we know that it's just something that she's saying and doesn't necessarily mean it (it's often just a part of her disability). Lately, however, the oldest doesn't want to talk to The Other Parent when she calls. We're not sure what's going on with that other than maybe she's getting old enough to know that The Other Parent is a flake and really isn't interested in anything but her own miserable life. She's let the kids down so many times.

Like Kristie, we keep a log of things that happen with The Other Parent. We have enough we could easily get at least supervised visits, if not getting her parental rights completely revoked. I keep it in a drawer where neither of the kids can find it.


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  "Aut dosce, aut disce, aut discede"
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Wed, 12-30-2009 - 5:08pm

Hi AJ,


I thought I'd check in and see how you are doing?


 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 12:48pm

Thanks, Kristie.

Well, DSD5 "decided" to go back to mom's one night again over the weekend after Christmas. We picked her up again at noon the next day. NOT a workable situation.


C. is meeting with the 'Other Parent' tonight with a third-party mediator to discuss this issue, DSS's ongoing schedule and more.

Fingers crossed. We really need some stability in the schedule for everyone's sake.


Send some good vibes!!


AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 1:06pm

This sounds like this could be a really good thing!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 1:19pm

Hey, sort of off topic, but I was thinking about you this weekend and D.'s desire for you to bond more with DD8...


Have you spent any time alone with DD8? I found that I started to bond more with DSS8 after he and I had a few outings alone together. I played in the snow with him on a snow day and then took him out for hot cocoa. On another school day off, I took him to the nature and science museum. I have also picked him up from school a few times.

Spending some one-on-one time together gave me the chance to get to know him a little better and start building trust with him.

I haven't had the chance to do the same thing with DSD5 because she is not with us as much, but she has started asking if I would.


I think undivided attention is one of the best ways to help a kid feel heard and begin to trust you more.

Just some random thoughts that popped into my head a few days ago. :)

Any progress in your chats with D.? Feeling better about the prenup thing?



AJ, enjoying life with C.


May your 2010 bring you many gifts.


Anniversary


My blog:
Marriage, step-parenthood and enjoying life.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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