Living in the past

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Living in the past
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 4:18pm
I recently found a web site that helps you get in touch with your old school friends. I left school over 20 years ago and was fascinated to see all the names I used to know. Now I feel I'm obsessed with trying to get in contact with people. I have e-mailed them but they don't reply (I don't think they can remember who I am!) My question is - why am I so obsessed with knowing how these people are now and what they've been up to over the past 20 years? Is it just human curiosity? I've also started dreaming about the guys I used to know and obviously had a crush on and it's sending me crazy. I'm married, have 2 kids and have a good life, so why do I want to be in the past all the time? Any feed back would be a great help. Many thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2002
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 2:15pm
Maybe you just remembered that you really liked those classmates, and maybe if by any chance you didn't get a chance to know them well, you might be wishing you could get to know them now? There's no harm in wanting to revisit your past -- sometimes, it's nice to go back in time and take a walk down Memory Lane (excuse the cliche); it can be fun to feel yourself a carefree, or relatively carefree kid again. I too sometimes wonder what became of my former classmates and childhood friends. It's when you start neglecting the people in your current life that it beomes a problem.

IMO, maintaining old friendships and developing and solidifying new friendships is important i.e. one is gold and the other is silver, according to that Girl Scout song :), but if the balance tips, it should tip towards the newer ones because they're the ones in your current life and they're the people you may be able to relate to the best.

Just my 2 cents ;). Good luck in getting responses from your former classmates! (I'm sure you should hear back from at least one or two).

Sapna aka sap198

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 1:45pm
It is natural to wonder what people are doing now. But it sounds like maybe you feel like you're missing out on something or want to compare your life to theirs. Maybe inside you dream of having a life where you are single and child-less (although it is just a dream, not a hope) and you're wondering if people you used to know are similar to you or to your fantasy. Don't get discouraged in your attempt to contact old friends. If they don't respond, good riddence to them. Find ones who will. Good luck!