My bf doesn't celebrate xmas

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
My bf doesn't celebrate xmas
11
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 12:42pm

I need some advice. I don't know how to handle this. My bf and I have been together for a little over

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 1:03pm

Hi Sparkles74,


Welcome to the board!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 1:21pm
You're right it is a good idea to talk about the future before living with him. I guess I thought I could live with it at first, but I think now that it is getting closer to the holidays, I'm starting to feel sad about it. Thanks for the advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 2:24pm

I don't blame you for feeling sad about Christmas!!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2009
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 2:49pm

I really think you need to be open and communicate a LOT about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 2:53pm

I don't think he would be willing to see a counselor together. I would love that actually, but when I've asked him before if he's thought of seeing one for himself for some other issues he had been dealing with, he said he wouldn't want to. I just wish he was more open about things. What is frustrating is I finally found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and now I have to try to deal with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 9:01am

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2009
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 11:38am

I am so surprised that some of you have never known a person who didn't celebrate Christmas, because I have known many!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2005
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 10:48pm

At least my bf has agreed to exchange one gift with me each year, but I do think it's a good idea to have a limit so you don't go crazy on your spending. Personally I don't like shopping during Christmas since it gets really crazy. But I do love giving gifts to family and friends and just the spirit of it all. I tried explaining all that to my bf, but he doesn't see the point in making a huge deal about it when you could exchange gifts with someone anytime of the year. I guess that's what he's known growing up since his parents changed their religion views and he agrees to that even though he's not in any particular religion. I just need to have that talk with him to make sure he would be ok with our future kids to celebrate Christmas. I think it makes it magical for kids when they are so young.


Thank you all for your advice. It's nice to get different perspectives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 8:19am
i have 5-6 black fridays under my belt... and i remember thinking after i had survived my very first one.. O.M.G. how sad and yes dis-heartening to see such waste... and nothin mattered except that 30-40 vcr... oh it used to make me so mad and sad.. and happy that i didnt have human kids to grow up in that gluttony.. its disgusting.... and
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 7:24pm

Hi Sparkles:

Don't want to take the sparkle out of your life, but I sound just like your boyfriend. We stopped celebrating Christmas when I was eight, and I'm a senior now.

I would say that he would be willing to have you go to your family during the holidays, and celebrate yourself, but it would be very difficult to get him to participate at all.

And almost for sure, he would NOT want a tree or anything else decorating your shared home. There must be something left of his religious upbringing still there for him to still do this. Maybe he should explore that himself further.

All that being said, please don't think he's going to be upset if you go off with your family. He won't. It's just like any day to him, and we generally watch with almost disbelief as people go nuts shopping for weeks, and it's all over in half a day with disappointment and cranky relatives hanging around for the day. Plus all the bills. Partly kidding here, but you KWIM......

I doubt very much that he would give on this point, actually, from the little you said. Some things you just can't change.

I have a close male friend who was raised Jewish, and doesn't believe in God anymore. We are very good friends, but wonder just how far you can go with differing beliefs. It's not just him and me, it's all the relatives who would have a fit.......

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