Question For All

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Question For All
14
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 11:56am
How did you feel about turning 30 before you actually did, and have your feelings about it changed since you actually turned 30?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:09pm
I absolutely dreaded turning 30! I was actually depressed the whole month leading up to my birthday!

I'll be 32 next month, and I still can't get used to being in my 30's. Are we too young to start back-tracking?

Jennifer:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 12:24pm
The only thing I didn't want to have happen was have another boring birthday party. I really hoped it would be special. I would say it was about half way there. I feel more sure of myself and my wants/needs in my 30's. Having shows like Sex and the City makes me feel like there are a lot of women in their 30's like me...aka looking for love. Right now I've found someone I love...I just hope it lasts!!! One down side is that I take every health "scare" more seriously. I'm a little more scared of the aches and pains and other little things that pop up much more so than when I was in my 20's. I guess I just felt more invincible!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 2:03pm
I didn't feel anything except a vague sense of fear and nostalgia that I can no longer be a care-free, irresponsible, and occasionally naive young girl in her 20s. I felt you can have more fun in the 20s, but after turned 30, you have to get serious and really think about where your career and personal life is going. There is definitely more pressure to have a family, both biologically and psychologically, cuz I've been feeling that I've been single for too long. In my 20s of course the idea was there but it's sort of more put on hold, something remote. Now I turned 30 (in April actually), the need has become more imminent. I guess it's just natual.

Now after my 30th birthday, the fact that I'm 30 has been growing on me. It's gradual, like you began to realize the difference between you and people in their 20s, and you also began to panic when you think you see the first sign of aging, e.g. your skin doesn't look as good as before. Actually I'm kind of a special case, I look way younger than my age. People often mistook me for an undergrad. One time a delivery man asked me "are you a student?" I said "I'm working." He said "then that's good too. Are you planning to go to college?" I was like, "What? I've already graduated."--way back. He laughed, "but you look too young to graduate from college." I was ashamed to admit I'm actually 30, had gone to grad school and worked several jobs. Some of you may think this is trait for envy, yes it is, but sometimes it backfires too. Like when a guy sees me, he might think I'm too young for him, but in fact I might be just too old for him.

I guess there is a kind of solemness with turning 30. I still don't feel I'm 30, and it's weird to tell people my age. Also I get increasingly impatient with doing things I don't like. Life has limited time, I should spend my time on things I truely enjoy.

There is also a sense that by 30 you should be pretty settled personally and professionally, which is not the case for me. But I've felt better since yesterday after reading some old posts on this board. There are women in their 30s who are on the same boat. So I'm not alone.

Thanks for the question. It's good to communicate. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Thu, 11-13-2003 - 4:02pm

I looked forward to turning 30! I have always been told I look young for my age, so when 30 came and went, I felt like I was FINALLY an adult and people would start taking me more seriously. (Of course, they still think I look younger than 30 and I'm a little beyond that now, so people won't take me seriously until I say what my age is.)


I think in this day and age, 40 is what 30 used to be years ago. When my mom turned 30, I'll never forget it. She was depressed! She was miserable! We put 30 candles on her cake and she just cried! It was not a very fun birthday as we planned it to be. But I think now people are living longer and waiting longer to do things like get married and have kids, so 30 shouldn't be dreaded anymore.


I feel sorry for those of you out there who really DID dread turning 30. For me, it was a very positive turning point in my life and I'd do it all over again!

*Rebecca*

Rebecca
Loving wife to David (3-2

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 1:55pm
I was sooo glad to turn 30. It was a great

year for me. I bought my first house and

was making great money and feeling good

about myself.

Too bad I met the wrong man and stayed

with him for six years:(

Now I'm 36 and wish so bad that I wouldn't

have got my heart involved with him because

I would love to turn 30 again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 7:17am
Turning 30 didnt affect me at all, what affected me is when my 11 year old son went into junior high this year. That hit me pretty hard, my baby only has 2 more years then he is a teen ager ... YIKES! I am 31 by the way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Mon, 11-17-2003 - 9:38am
My son will be going off to middle school next year too, I know that is going to hit me harder than this whole turning 30 ordeal! I have to admit I have been a little freaked about the whole thing for a while now, I don't look or feel 30, but as it is getting closer, I realize it is not so bad. I am one of the lucky ones who is already with the man I want to spend my life with, we have 3 great kids, and I am somewhat settled in my career choices, even if I haven't gotten to exactly where I want to be yet, I feel I am on my way. I only work thru tax season doing accounting but hopefully this will turn into my own home business within the next few years. I am starting to look at this as a turning point in my life. I have spent the past ten years at home raising my kids and now they are finally in school all day and I now have so much time for myself that I sometimes don't know what to do with it all!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Fri, 11-21-2003 - 7:07pm
Hehehe...you think middle school is bad? Wait til they start driving!!!! My son got his learners permit in August and I still can't adjust. Or how about buying bras for your DD for the first time? My daughter is 12...and already a c cup and only 5'4" and 110 lbs...that's heart failure!!!

Anyway, I'm 33 now, and turning 30 was just another BD for me. Didn't really care. I guess that's partly because I feel my life is well settled, happily married, great kids and career beyond my wildest dreams, and probably because I'm always told I look younger. I had an electrician over here earlier this week and he said he thought I was about 24 :) Couldn't beleive I had a 15 yo! what a sweet kid!

But also, My father is 83 now and in terrific health. He was still snow skiing and water skiing in his mid-60s, and is very active to this day. He looks and acts more like 50-60 now, even though he's 83. I think growing up with an older parent who was so active gave me a very positive outlook on aging. Crows feet and age spots are nothing. Now the slower metabolism is another story...I spend twice as much time working out now with half the results :(

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 10:00am
That's terrific your father is so active and healthy at that age! My grandmother will be 80 in January and she has always been so independant that it is killing her now to have to be so dependant on others now that she is eaten up with arthritis and can barely get around. And even my mom at 54 is starting to get arthiritis. Doesn't exactly give me much to feel I have to look forward to! It's always inspiring to hear about these elderlies that are doing so well.

I am so not looking forward to those teenage years! I have a step son who will be 14 on xmas eve and a dd who will be 9 dec. 28. Their birthdays are always harder than my own. Where are the years going? 30 is bad enough but as I am nearing 40 I will have a 15, 16, 18, and 21 year old on my hands... I guess when you think of it that way I should be darn happy to only be 30. lol

A few months ago I got carded trying to buy a lottery ticket!! I do look younger than my age, but obviously not under 18... though I have to admit that does make ya feel pretty good! :p

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
In reply to: ikatstr
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 1:08am
I stumbled on this thread because i'm turning 30 in one week. I have to say i didn't give it much thought, except lately--like in the last week. I'm starting to panic--not from the # itself, but what it MEANS. like after that day the bar has instantly been raised--and i wasn't even close to it before!! Although I'm a college graduate and have a good/average job, i'm definitely not earning what i should. Also, i'm single (i have a boyfriend, but we've only been together for 4 months), and in my twenties, i never worried about being single, it was always just so fun, and normal. (i also live in a big city). Now it seems there's just so much more pressure from society, including friends & family about "getting the real life started". It makes me feel like i don't have a real life, and my chances of getting one (whatever it is) is fading. I truly do want all the things that this "real life" has, and i haven't specifically been denying myself of getting it. But i aslo haven't been overly-pursuing it either. Like, no panic man hunts or anything like that. Men come, and go, and come again. I'm happy with how things are with my new man---but things are starting to seep into my head more about "maybe he's the one" "i hope he's serious"---things that i never let creep into a relationship until it was much much father down the road. And it's starting to freak me out that that's how i'm thinking now. Is all this normal?? I'm I an over-analyzing freak on the cusp of 30??? :)

Pages