returning topic: going back to college
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|Thu, 08-13-2009 - 4:53pm|
I'm at home today because I woke up to a headache and was deeply tired. I probably gave myself a headache because of the topic I'm about to tell you. I've asked this before in the past and I bring it up again because it's back in my life once again...
Last year, I applied for a Master's program and was accepted. I turned the program down, though, because I felt the program really wasn't to my liking -- it wasn't 100% perfect.
Lately, I've been really anxious about things. For those who remember my posts, I'm the one who's currently working out of title and have been pushing for a promotion where I work. Nothing's come about it yet and it's making me upset.
I've graduated from college about 2 years ago and I'm still stuck pushing paper. I wanna do what I studied/majored. I know now's a bad time to begin looking, but if I wait too long, I might now get hired at all because they'll begin to question why it took me this long to get a position in my field when I graduated x amount of years ago!
So, I'm beginning to become unhappy at work, but I put on a happy face and try not to let it get to me that I'm working out of title and may never get that promotion.
I'm looking for work here and there to see, by chance, if there's a position that suits my qualifications (I majored in graphics/web designing, btw).
I've also begun looking at colleges once again to possibly get my Master's. I took a look the other day at the college I turned down last year and it appears that they've improved it somewhat. I called up the department and the girl answered my questions and it seems like I really should take this program and give it a try.
She told me to make sure I attended the open house and speak with the Dean to make sure the program is for me. Of course, I put my name down right away.
So, I tell him last night that I may want to go to this college for my Master's. He's not happy about it, but he is encouraging me to continue my studies. I ask him what happens to "us" and he told me that we should see how it goes -- to go "with the flow" of things.
Now, we both have had this discussion before and he's told me in the past that he's the type of person who needs a lot of attention (he's a very spoiled man! lol) and he knows that I won't be spending that much time with him once I've begun my studies. Therefore, he would suggest that we just become "friends".
I referred that back to him and he said it's true. He's encouraging me to go back to school because he knows that it's what I really want and he knows he'll never hear the end of it if we ever "commit" to one another. He also wants me to take the program now instead of waiting later because of my age.
Now, he's got plans himself to go back to college. He recently took his MCAT and won't know the results of it until next month. If he gets accepted (and I'm hoping and praying he won't!), he's gonna end our relationship. But, if he doesn't get in, he's just gonna take some night courses.
I really do not want to lose the relationship if I choose to go back to college and I told him that. He said that I need to learn to make sacrifices in life.
I'm also worried about taking risks, though. If I do go back to college, I'm not guaranteed once I graduate to be employed in a company of the field I chose to major. If that happens, I'll be back to square one -- pushing paper! I'll be forever a secretary!! :(
He tells me there are other ways of advancing myself instead of returning to college. But, I've been raised to think like that: earning a higher degree = advancement.
And he's not liking the idea of me taking out a loan to pay for college, if I choose to return. Which is why he doesn't want us to live together any time soon because we don't seem to have our finances together. He absolutely does not believe in taking out loans.
So, I'm looking for any/some piece of advice to help me out. Would you go back for your Master's and sacrifice your relationship for that degree? What would you do or rather, how would you feel if once you graduated with your Master's, you didn't move onto another job and you're left working for the same company you've been with for what seems like forever and doing mind-numbing work?
Also, any advice as to how to afford the program and how to balance studying and having a relationship, etc. would greatly be appreciated.
Thanks in advance and so really sorry this is so long.
Now you can see why I have a headache today! lol. :)