Saturday Night My friend and I.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Saturday Night My friend and I.....
3
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 4:43pm
Hello all,

I am new to ivillage and would love to hear from anyone interested in my discussion. Saturday night my friend and I had dinner and went to the bookstore to discuss sex and sexuality, however, in the midst of the discussion, I realized that a much more important issue was brewing.....WHAT'S WRONG WITH US? WHY ARE WE SO COMPLEX?...There are so many things that women need to know about women..We sometimes tend to look at our relationships with our significant other to determine our relationships with our fellow women i.e..."She doesn't like the way my boyfriend treats me,hmm,I think she's jealous of our relationship". Right there a friendship is about to end. Now I'm not expressing hatred towards men, but rather reality of our ways. It's not HIS fault. It's her's, mine, yours,etc. We make our friendships with other women so complicated by unnecessary insecurities and fears, that we forget to just be ourselves with each other. When we can just "calm down" and try to have with one another (ala "SEX IN THE CITY"),we eventually find a reason to toot our noses in the air at each other. Now, I am not a card-holding member of the NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN, but, they do have the right idea to some degree. My friend and I were actually "dumped" Saturday night by another one of our friends partly because she is a bit jealous of OUR frienship, and I have come to the conclusion that this has to be some sort of growing epidemic. What do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 9:05pm
HI there

Well you may have something here. I dont have any really close friends at all mainly because of the jealousy and envy and the back talkin behind backs annoys the hell out of me. I hate when that are competitive and women that like to show off all the time. So I pretty much stick to myself. But I do have a very very good friend that I met at work and she is 21 and I am 37. The age difference between us is perfectly fine but I tend to sometimes not talk to much of my personal life with her but I do listen to her and its good. She is alot younger than I am and much much thinner than I am and I hate hearing her complain so much bout how she looks. (she only weighs 105lbs) yes! but I ask her sometimes. Who are you comparing yourself to when you say you are getting fat? Then she is like uh ok i get your point. I always tell her there is always someone out there that is alot worst off then you are.

But back to what you are saying. Be yourself. Accept other for what they are. If its not what you like then move on to someone you have a connection to. YOu are not going to have a connection with everyone women you are friends with. My advice, dont brag bout your life. Women hate when others brag and boast bout their lives and career. Talk bout your life but never brag. Compliment a friend when you see that she has something really nice on.(handbag, shoes,etc) and mean it when you say it. Women can tell when other are being phoney. and be honest bout how you feel bout things. Seems to work for me. But tend to find other women to into themselves to want to be friends. Or i cant find women that are like myself. Most of the women that I know are into shopping, men hunting, and shopping again, shoes, getting their hair down and I am not really like that. so its hard.

I know I pretty much got off the topic but a true friend is a friend that is there for you and accepts you for who you are and not what you do. thanks for listening


Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 1:15am
I think that had the person who named woman, 'woman' given it any amount of thought we'd had never been named woman to begin with. Why, you ask? We are nothing like men (a blessing and a tragedy) and frankly, we are all about drama even when we dont want to be. Technically, Drama would of been more acurate. Ya know, kinda like drama queen without the homosexual overtones. No offense to anyone who is gay out there -- sexual preference had nothing to do with the point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 9:28am
It's interesting because my Friend is 25yrs-old and I'm 30 (not much of an age difference) and our other friend is 32,and friend #1 and I are just little free spirits, we love each other and everyone else. We just like to smile and have good conversation. On the other hand Friend #2 can be so wishy washy and either hot or cold towards us and I know it is a matter of envy of our relationship. Friend #1 sees me as an older sister and sees Friend #2 as more of a mother-like person, so maybe she takes offense to that seeing as how we don't always tell everything to our mothers. It's a shame that we go through all the drama in high school with each other and try to be so "mature",but then we get older and act like we are still in high school. Like I said, we should all just meet in the feminine hygiene aisle in our local drug store and have monthly meetings about our attitudes toward one another.