**Sigh** feeling lost

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
**Sigh** feeling lost
14
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 12:37pm

Hi. I'm kind of new here. I've been on other boards but this is my first time to this one.


I'm 31 and single. In the past two years I've split from my fiance, we love each other to pieces but its just not going to work out because of outside circumstances that have nothing to do with us. I've tried despartately to move on and have dated some really great guys (and really not great guys) who's company I enjoy and whom I'm attracted to but there is a sevre lack of connection. I feel like these guys have made a decision to be in a relationship and the person (me in this case) is incidental, it could be anyone. So we naturally haven't gotten very far. So now I've thought to just stop. I don't want anyone else, I'm tired of dating, I'm tired of going out and having the same brainless conversations over and over again. I think I'm ok with this, for now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 12:47pm

Hu Sun14


Welcome to the board!!!


Break ups are really hard and moving on top of it makes it harder.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 5:38pm
Kristie gave some great advice! i am also single and live alone. i got out of a LTR early this year and i live in a city away from any family as well. it's tough and i go through my own ups and downs but i know i can't afford to just pick up and move home so i make the best of it. have you tried meetup.com? i've signed up with a couple of womens groups in the area and have met some nice ladies. you should check it out. they have groups for just about anything you can think of!
and stick around here!! we'll listen to you vent...trust me, we have plenty of that going around! but it's nice to know we all have a 'place' to go for that. but, we are also here to cheer each on, offer advice or just chit-chat!
anyway....i hope you're feeling better soon!!!




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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 8:20am

'..but its just not going to work out because of outside circumstances that have nothing to do with us.'


What are they, these circumstances? If you want to share that is?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 10:42am

Umm yeah, the problem between us is that he has a son with another woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 12:18pm

this may sound cold, but you are better off without this man!!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 12:45pm

Yes I know everyone is going to say that. Like I said everything I wrote about him is only the tip of the iceberg in our ballad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 1:44pm
You know what's best for you!!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 2:07pm

Public health. I'd like to get into clinical trials research, its fustrating because everyone wants to put me in a non-profit position and I really don't want to do that anymore. Now that I've been in the field for over 9 years i want a position that I can grow in, not another stepping stone. I'd like to have money to travel, I'd like to move to the UK, I'd like to be able to go out and socialize with the few aquaintences that I do have without curtailing my spending so I can pay the electric bill.


I figured by my 30's I'd have all this figured out. I think I'm kind of disappointed with where I am in life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 06-23-2009 - 3:03pm

I think you'll find that there are lots of us that feel this way from time to time.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 8:36am

well sun... if any of us NEVER FELT THIS WAY then the world would be a almost perfect place... i thought that i had my whole life planned and laid out before me to when i was just starting in my 30's,,, had the hubby of 19 yrs.. the yuppie house.. yuppie cars// yuppie dog... we had it all or so all of our friends and negihbors thought... until one fateful night 4 years ago.. when i watched 19 yrs of love and work pass literally before my eyes and it has never been the same since he died that night.... imagine.. having what is considered"having it all" and then having it ripped away from you.. like a band-aid....

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