a single girl's pathetic christmas

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
a single girl's pathetic christmas
4
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:58am
It's not like I don't have friends or family...but ugh, I'm just feeling very pathetic this Christmas. I'm in a long distance relationship, so my boyfriend will be in California for the holidays (I'm in PA). My parents live in-state, but they'll be spending the holiday with my sister in Maryland, since she's the one that has children. And of course, my sister will be staying home. I would head down there, but I'm a nurse and this is my holiday to work. So here I am single and swingin' for Christmas and it's just PATHETIC. /sigh I keep telling myself it's just another day and no big deal, but I have to tell ya...I'm seriously getting depressed at the thought of waking up Christmas morning with my only company being the dog drooling beside me.

I decorated a little bit...hung a strand of lights on the living room window and put a centerpiece on the table. But I didn't put up a tree or anything, it just seriously seemed like too much work to do for just me. And cooking for one, puh-leese, need I say more? Christmas dinner will most likely be something microwavable in a little plastic dish. And I didn't bake cookies because I'll be the only one eating them and I felt that sitting and eating an entire batch of raw dough would only add to my pitifulness. I'm doing a 12-hour shift from 7am to 7pm, so thankfully that will eat up the bulk of the day. And when I get home I'm sure people will call...have to remember to call the single daughter who's ALONE for Christmas. /sigh

So any tips on how to make the holiday more festive when it's just you? Is there anyone else spending the holiday alone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 12:12pm

OK, first of all it IS a big deal because you're obviously stressing about it!


Are there other nurses in your same predicament? If so, invite one or two or more over for dinner! Serve holiday soup and salmon or something somewhat easy but elegant! Do you have neighbors who will be around? Invite them over for some cookies and tea. You'll obviously have to do a little in preparation for either situation.


Visit a homeless shelter or nursing home on Christmas and bake cookies for them or share in singing Christmas Carols. Do something for others instead of wallowing in the self pity of being "alone." You don't have to be alone if you don't choose to be!


You're lucky you have your dog if you choose to be alone. Make a holiday feast for the two of you! Get a special bone or food for your canine friend and sing joyous Christmas tunes to your friend.

*Rebecca*

Rebecca
Loving wife to David (3-2

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-19-2003 - 9:55pm
Hey there. I think it's normal for a lot of people to feel down at Christmas, even married people, etc. You're not alone. I like the suggestions about helping people during Christmas. And think of the people in the hospital during Christmas. It's not their best Christmas ever either. Also, be happy your dog is in good health. Right now, I'm dealing with taking care of an ailing pet I've had for ten years. He doesn't have much longer to live. But don't worry about me. I'm doing fine. My doggie is having good suppers of steak each night! And he is just the greatest buddy. I'll miss him.

Well, I meant to cheer you up, but here I am going on about my troubles.

I think loneliness is common during Christmas, which is odd because we're supposed to be happy. Sometimes, everyone is SO busy shopping and cooking and wrapping, we don't have time for each other. Another thing, try going to a church you like. Also, we went ato a performance of Handel's Messiah recently. Very inspiring!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 12:33pm
There are a lot of lonely and single people out there with every celebration imaginable. Why don't you ask yourself..do you need christmas or do you need company....learn to differentiate between spiritual holiday and fun times. I am a solitary pagan and I find so much to prepare and ritualize i don't have time to be lonley..Betweeen keeping my stalker boyfriend occupied and my dogs from tearing eachother up..there is a lot of ceremony to invent. Happy winter solstice..by the way..maybe observing the changes in nature will center you inorder to find independance and your virtues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Mon, 12-22-2003 - 5:49pm
You and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum...you're disappointed about spending Christmas alone and I'm dreading all the running from here and there to someplace else and back again, all while my best friend (my dog) sits sadly at home by himself. Although I'm thankful to have my friends and relatives in good health to share the holidays with, I wouldn't mind staying in bed all day with the dog snuggled up to me for a change. Never be disappointed the the *only* thing you have to look forward to is to wake up to your dog. He is your best friend, will never tell you a lie and will never expect more than food, water and some of your love in return. So pat him on the head before you go off to work and thank God for the best friend he has given you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say your feelings are not valid and you're perfectly entitled to wish for more festive plans for the holiday, I'm just trying to point out the positive sides of being single. For instance, you don't have to be in two separate counties and another state or eat two Christmas dinners all in the same day (like I did to satisfy both my parents and my in-laws)...it makes for a tiring, sickening holiday.

Before you get too down about what your plans are, don't forget all the people you'll be helping on Christmas day. They'll certainly appreciate the sacrifice you make by not spending time with your family so you can be a nurse to them. The best piece of advice my Dad ever gave me was "If you think you've got it bad, look around, you'll find someone who has it worse" and I'm sure in your line of work, it won't be difficult for you to find someone who's worse off.

Do you have any friends in the area? Contact them and inform them of your X-mas plans. I'm sure they'd be happy to include you in their celebration, even if you just stop by for a beverage or two.

And don't forget your best friend...take him for a walk or play some fetch. I always wish I had more time to spend with my dog. Whether it's any old day or on Christmas day, time with your best friend is always special, especially after they've passed and all you have is memories of the special times you've shared.

As far as ideas for ways to make the day special, besides spending some time with friends, maybe take a bubble bath, light lots of scented candles, give yourself a manicure or skin treatment, rent a movie you've been wanting to see, make yourself your favorite snack. How often do you get time to spend just on yourself? When your friends and family make that sympathy call to you, tell them what a relaxing day you're having. The day only has to be as sorry as you make it. After all, Christmas is for celebrating the birth of Jesus, not the mass commercialism is has become today. Happy Holidays :-)

B.J.

Mommy to Samantha Renee 12/11/04