Someone told me I was ugly

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Someone told me I was ugly
10
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 12:30pm
Hey there-

Last night I went to a pro hockey game with my boyfriend. While we were there a group of grown men were riding up an escalator and were heckling us because we were in the premier section. Anyway, we were doing nothing back and then one of them yell really loud, "nice a** but your face is ugly!" Obviously this guy is just mean and we did nothing to provoke it, but it really got to me bad. I never thought of myself as pretty, but I never thought of myself as ugly either. I'm 33 and when I was in high school I was teased for being ugly and overweight. I lost a lot of weight and I've been skinny for years and take good care into what I wear and doing my hair and makeup (but not to the point of obsession). But his comment made me feel so hideous, like maybe after everything I do to take care of myself it's not good enough for what society deems as pretty. Now I know there are worse things in life and I should look at my inner beauty and focus on that, but the comment really made me feel, well ugly. Since I really can't change the way I look THAT much, how do I not let this get to me? I figured since you can't really see what I look like you could be objective.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 1:03pm
I'm soo sorry that this person could have

so much power over your self image.

I work with a lot of people who think it

is their duty to talk out loud about co-worker's

looks. It is sad to me because I know that

it takes years to build a good self esteem when

you don't have one. I worked with a grown man who

thought it was funny to tease me ALL day EVERY

day at work. It would wear thin on me some days

and I would go home and cry. He once told me

that he heard I was all corroded inside and that's

why I can't have babies. (I just

returned from having emergency surgery due to

a miscarriage.)

It's very hard to deal with these types of people.

I'm sending you hugs and positive thoughts

that you can be strong and not let anyone

bring you down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 1:43pm
Well, he was probably drunk and doesn't even remember it. Or he was trying to be funny but instead ended up being immature, and all in all it doesn't mean a thing. Feel sorry for the man, he is obviously lacking in social skills and witty reparté.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 1:58pm
Hi. Sorry to hear that. It's a shame that some folks never out grow teenage behavior.

That's too bad for them. I bet you are a real great person!

fan

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 5:48pm
I disagree that someone elses opinion matters. For one thing I am against sharing an opinion or advice with someone unless asked. I have to tell that person then to keep it to themselves, or just ignore them, they are probably talking to someone else. Just listen to yourself. You saw that you look wonderful...you have a young energetic look, you are with people, you seem to have a life...why should that remark matter?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 4:51pm
i know where your coming from , all my life ive been teased about my weight and call fat so for years now ive been working on it . I have lost weight but still about 25 pounds to go for my ideal weight.but is still get teased by coworkers and it hurts . But most people who do the teasing dont feel good about them selves either. so they do it to others to make themselves look better. I know its hard but you have to let it go and just look at yourself and say im a good person and this wont bother me. hope this helps a little.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:07pm
he said it b/c he's unhappy. honestly. you know that.

there is no one 'pretty'. any person who has a good heart or who tries to look nice is very attractive.

that's the facts. i work in the fashion industry and i think it's a fact that all women are pretty.

 Katrina
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 8:43am
I always end up feeling a little sorry for these clods who yell mean things at total strangers. They probably have microscopic penises and have trouble maintaining any semblance of a relationship with a woman. How insecure they must be to do that!~ Too bad for them. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 10:26am
How awful! Not that it helps much, but I try to tell myself that anyone who's openly critical about someone else is obviously so low in their own self esteem, that they have to put down others to feel better about themselves.

I know how you're feeling. I gained a lot of weight after a car accident 10 years ago, and I've overheard a lot of comments made about me ("Boy, has she let herself go", "She used to be really pretty", etc). I know it cuts like a knife, but please try to not worry about what some drunk, inconsiderate lout said.

Hugs to you!

Jennifer:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 11:44am
Hey everyone!

Thank you for your kind words!! It only took me about a day to recover from a comment like that. I talked to my cousin about it, and I said it makes me work on being a better person from the inside because that IS something I can change about myself. I mentioned that I have a good friend who in the last 10 years or so has really let herself go...but it has everything to do with the fact that her personality has gotten more bitter and negative. It affects the way she stands, the expression on her face...people don't want to be around her. To me that can make a person "ugly" and I hope that she can change that. I think it's my job to work on my own personality flaws as well and that will make me a pretty person. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-01-2003 - 3:45pm

I don't know why rude people still exist in this world. I dislike them so much!


Obviously this guy was trying to make himself feel good by putting you down. It could've been anyone he was speaking to and you probably weren't the only one he made fun of that evening. This stranger isn't worth the time and energy

Rebecca
Loving wife to David (3-2