Stuck in a loner rut!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2004
Stuck in a loner rut!
Sat, 10-23-2010 - 5:42pm

Hello all.

I'm a 31 year old single professional who has a lot going for me. I have a good job as a licensed master social worker. I am financially stable, and I will be a first time homeowner in about a month (I'm buying a beautiful house!). I have come a long way in the past two years, despite tragedy (when my mother died two and a half years ago, I didn't think I'd be able to make it, as she was my best friend).

Now that I have those things in order, I need to figure out how to get my social/ love life going. For nearly a year, I have had a pretty non-existent social and dating life. The few friends I have here have abandoned me. My closest friend moved away a few years ago. I was dating a guy earlier this year, but broke it off because we weren't compatible. I recently (within the last few weeks) stopped communicating with a man whom I had been dating long distance, as we too were incompatible. Nearly every Friday and Saturday night is spent alone, with me going back and forth between surfing the net or watching HGTV (I'm going to be a new homeowner, so I'm obsessed!). I have NO social life. I don't know what to do. I don't want to move into a beautiful home, and become a prisoner in it, or never have people over. How does a single woman find friends? Also, I NEVER get asked out. I've been working on myself (I go to the gym regularly to stay in shape). I'm just not sure what to do. I am tired of being a loner. No one at my job would ever know this side of me. At work, I'm outgoing, friendly...on weekends, I'm like a recluse. I go to the grocery store, the gym, and church. This is ALL I do on the weekends! It is pretty sad.

Any help/ ideas are appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Sat, 10-23-2010 - 7:51pm

You are not alone with having a hard time making friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 2:16pm

Do you have any hobbies?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 8:00pm

I am

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 10:08pm

Hi, I'm new here and I was replying to suggest too, but I see the good ladies above have already beaten me to the punch.

I am also a 36 year old who bought my home when I was 32 and single (in a bad relationship and bought the home on my own dime using some of my inheritance when my mom died four years prior - and it nearly killed me too).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2008
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 6:07pm was like I was reading about myself reading your post.