Is there a way to really tell...

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Is there a way to really tell...
Mon, 09-10-2012 - 1:09pm

if a guy you are dating is gay? My friend and I were discussing her boyfriend the other day and she's trying to work out this issue for herself. She's in her early 30s and is very eager to settle down. She has been dating this guy for about two years now and has seemed very happy. I've met him a few times and think he's a good catch as well. She recently expressed that she's started questioning some of the things she's liked about him from the beginning of their relationship, such as the fact that he's not into sports, likes art and operas, dresses very well, and likes to cook. She said her sex life with him is great and that he's always very touchy-feely and affectionate. What really set her off was that he recently told her that years before they met, he went to a gay bar with friends for someone's birthday. She seems to now think it could be a sign of something and wishes she asked him from the get-go when they started dating, but now she's not sure what to do, especially with a possible proposal coming. She then started talking about the news about John Travolta and said she doesnt' want that to be her life one day.  

Years ago I dated a guy who was as manly as they get but he had little to no sex drive. I told her this and said he could have easily been gay and that I'd use that as a clue rather than someone's fashion sense and interest in the latest art shows. Thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 9:33am

I think if he was gay, they would not have a sex life at all because he would not be attracted to her in that manner.  He sounds like a great guy to me!  Someone that may just be in touch with his feminine side.  And as far as the gay bar goes, who cares.  I have fun at gay bars and I am not gay.