what a dis! (Facebook situation)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
what a dis! (Facebook situation)
10
Wed, 06-03-2009 - 8:28pm

I know we've had this discussion before about Facebook, but I just had to vent this out because I didn't think it would happen to me.

I had joined this site about a couple of months ago and just recently became active on this site.

I've joined some of the groups that are on there and I reconnected with a few friends from high school (and when I say "a few", I mean only a handful, which to me says "loser!"). But, hey, I wasn't part of the "it" crowd back then. I'm still not the "popular" chick now, but I do not want to be that person anyway.

Anyhow, I had requested to befriend this guy I've known since we were kids and I also requested to befriend this guy who worked as a temp for us at work.

Now, the temp dude never responded back to me, so I'm accepting he's not going to add me to his friend list and he won't appear on mine. Fine, whatever, later for you then.

But, as for the other guy, well, he sent me an email through Facebook today. I checked it, then, went to see if he's on my Friends list and he's not! :(

I read the old thread that was posted on here a while back and I'm afraid I must've gotten "declined" by him. Nope, I didn't get a notification about the decline, but I am to assume it.

I don't know which is worse: getting declined by former friends or getting the turn down message from a potential match on a dating site! Sigh.......

Oh yeah, if soarnangels is reading this, I'm beginning to feel like what you wrote in the old thread -- that I don't belong on that site.

Gosh, I feel like such a loner in this world! Maybe I should just deactivate the account.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
Wed, 06-03-2009 - 11:59pm

don't take it as a dis! i have no idea why he might have declined your request but please try not to take it too personally. it's his loss, don't waste your energy worrying about it. you just keep being the best you that you can be :) who knows why guys do the things they do...we'll never figure them out...whether just friends on fb or potential partners from an OLD site....think if it as them doing you a favor - putting you one step closer to meeting someone worth your time and energy.

and just remember you always have us here on this board!!! : )





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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2009
Thu, 06-04-2009 - 12:21am

Please don't take it personally...I feel that fb can be impersonal.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Thu, 06-04-2009 - 8:21am
and for most of the world... iam sure they belong there... but i didnt then and i dont now, j.'s aunt is a huge facebook fan and ha tried and tried to get me more active in that world...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Thu, 06-04-2009 - 12:42pm

Definately don't take it personally!!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2009
Thu, 06-04-2009 - 1:10pm
I do the same thing as Kristie, I get friend request and I usually ignore them.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Thu, 06-04-2009 - 8:37pm

Thank you all for your kind words and support! Yes, I may not have a lot of Facebook friends, but I still have you gals! :)

I'll be honest here: when I was declined by those two, all of my insecurities came out: I'm not pretty enough for them to add to their list compared to their other female friends (although, I've been told by my niece that my profile pic looks great) or I'm not cool enough for them, etc.

But, you know what? I'm better than that. You gals are right that I don't need them on my friends list; I'll have/find other friends to add.

And I'm not about to analyze this any further because once again, you gals are right, I'm just wasting good time and energy.

To heck with those two dudes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Fri, 06-05-2009 - 1:35pm

The others already gave you great advice, but I wanted to add that I echo everything they said - forget the guys who didn't add you for whatever reasons, and don't take it personally because they may just not be into adding friends there or whatever. It hasn't anything to do with you - you're fabulous and no amount of friending/not friending will ever change that. :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 8:47pm

Ok, feeling a little embarrassed now about the original post!

Update: the both of them confirmed me as a friend! I feel a little bad now, but I guess I was always one who never had that much patience when it comes down to expecting a reply from someone.

Great advice, though, ladies!

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 10:07pm

My best friend is the type to add everybody she's ever sat next to on a bus as a friend on facebook.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 06-08-2009 - 10:19pm
You shouldn't feel bad at all!!!